eggsnog

^ ...that wasn't a typo.  ;-)

The last week or so, I too have wandered into the "desire for fattening foods" slough.  :-)  This slough is a demonic association between Nature and Culture!  Due to the seasonal biological drive to put on fat before winter, our bodies have a head-start on making us vulnerable -- but it's the "holiday season" which springs the fatal trap.

It starts with the first cold stormy weather!  We start fantasizing about our favorite autumnal foods like thick rich stews and chowders.  Halloween is the first approach of the Chocolate Demon -- hey, very dark chocolate with its small quantities of sugar is virtually beneficial!  It has those lovely antioxidants, and it's luxuriously delicious, and for some people the sugar-free version that's sweetened with sugar-alcohols make it "completely innocent" ...  bwahahahaha!

Weeks into November, we're still finishing up our chocolate stash when along comes Thanksgiving!  We find all kinds of ways of lowcarbifying traditional favorite dishes, but we often manage to eat a higher-carb diet than USUAL -- just one meal, right?  I know from personal experience that all I have to do after a particularly decadent meal is to fast for 24 hours and I won't have any negative repercussions ... except something like additional knee pain if I've eaten some proscribed ingredients like wheat or oats ... or too much cheese ... or histamine trigger foods or ... uh-oh....

Then come old family Christmas favorites.  The slough is around my ankles, trying to suck me down before I even know it.

The autumn/winter holidays are centered around food for biological and cultural reasons.  In "the old days" it was HEALTHY to gain weight for winter for a number of different purposes.  Back when things like sugar and dried fruits were rare and special, one used them for the most important cultural celebrations.  The best brandy was used in the Christmas pudding.  Hours could be spent cracking and picking nuts, and stoning raisins.  "Important" households in the Old World hired extra servants for the extra work -- after all, when people went to visit their friends and relatives before the age of railroads, they didn't stay a weekend but months, frequently.  Celebrating Christmas was "big business" even before universal-present-buying became the norm.

For those of us who put on weight easily (or are otherwise easily damaged by the wrong foods), this season is a challenge.  It's best, of course, to do any solstice-season celebrating in a manner that does NOT center around foods.  Those with "conventional family" to deal with may find this horribly difficult, though.  These people most benefit with the low-carb work-arounds that are so generously found online in LC and LC-paleo circles.

The trick I find most helpful is to use the treats as replacements rather than add-ons.  If you ARE going to have the reduced-carb party mix, skip the carrots.  If the LC eggnog is going to be your dessert, have a lower-fat main dish.  Control like this is most easily acquired if you can manage to be the host, or have a host who is amenable to your schemes!  Despite the "a calorie is not a calorie" theory, it's STILL possible to "eat too much" of almost anything on the holiday menu!

The other day, I cooked a lovely roasted, pastured chicken with a sort of walnut pesto, and had a little mashed purple sweet-potato with it.  Fat content too low!  Around midnight I found myself "too hungry to sleep" so I went downstairs and made an eggnog for my third meal, and it did the job;  eggnog is, after all, liquid food.  This is how I like mine:

EggSnog

1 pasteurized egg, cracked into a pint measuring cup and well-beaten with immersion blender
1/2 c. cream or rich coconut milk
tiny pinch salt
tiny dollop vanilla extract
4 drops liquid sucralose, or stevia to taste
jigger brandy or rum, or combination
sprinkle of nutmeg on the top of the foam in a pretty cup -- AHHHH!

mayo for Kim :-D

FOUND IT!  :-D

This is the recipe that i like best, but everyone will probably find a combination of oils that suits their tastebuds, alone as well as in various special combinations.  For example, "potato" salad is particularly good with bacon grease as one of the fats involved in the dressing....

1 egg
1-2 T. lemon juice, depending on destined use and how tangy you like your mayo
1/2 t. ground mustard
1/4 t. pepper -- white pepper is the prettiest choice  ;-)
1/4 t. sea salt
1/3 c. olive oil
1/3 c. avocado oil
1/3 c. MCT oil

You CAN use all-olive, but it dominates the flavor of the dressing.  I haven't experimented with things like macadamia oil, but i think it would be lovely and buttery.

...And HERE is the method that turned me from a rarely-making to a routinely-making mayo chef!  All i can say is WOW....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekytK_cWCGI

ENJOY!

certainly the oddest kitchen chore ever

A few months ago, i placed my first order with US Wellness meats.  They have minimum order requirements, so on top of the "rather ordinary" sale items i thought i'd try out, i got something "whimsical" to meet the quota.  The other day i took it out of the freezer, and today J and i did the preliminary step of the preparation of ...

LAMB FRIES!!!  :-D

Following the instructions in the Kindle version of "Odd Bits" i bought last month, we just skinned two pairs of ovine testicles.  Yep -- the weirdest thing that has ever gone on in MY kitchen!  It wasn't too difficult, but it wasn't like peeling vegetables, either.  The first thing to make sure of is that you have a VERY sharp knife and plenty of patience.

They're now sitting in a bowl of brine, and tomorrow they'll be poached, sliced and fried, then served with a bacon-and-onion mixture.  I'll let you know how we rate them!

hope there's some winter left

I really fell down on the job!  Around yule-tide, i meant to include the perfect cold-weather drink in my recipe collection, and i kept forgetting about it!  Could have been because my immersion blender was misbehaving, and that little tool is a wonderful aid in producing it; not letting others have a treat because it wouldn't be easy for me would be a little passive-aggressive, though....

Much of the English-speaking world has probably seen the cartoon Tom & Jerry, and that's the only T&J they're familiar with, but some years ago i came across the trail of what i suspect is The Original.  And all because i'm so fond of a good murder that one of my annual must-reads is "Murder for Christmas."  :-D  The collection includes a little gem by Damon Runyan called "Dancing Dan's Christmas" -- you can read it online here -- in which the tough guys are sitting around on Christmas eve getting mellow on Hot Tom & Jerry.  Well, OF COURSE i had to find the recipe and try it out!

And it turns out to be a Low-Carb Lush's dream!  Here's the modified version i love so much:

HOT TOM & JERRY

In a nice big mug, beat well with your immersion blender:
   one whole egg
Add and beat together:
   1/8 teaspoon each (ground) allspice, cinnamon and cloves
   about a packet of sucralose or stevia
   1/2 jigger brandy
   1 jigger dark rum
Stir in boiling water (or very hot coffee) to fill the mug, and taste for sweetness.  Grate a little nutmeg over the top.  YUMMMM.

the snack that FILLS

I've been on a mission to find more-ish ways to eat liver.  Boy-howdy, have i found one!  Bacon-wrapped bites of chicken liver:  the very IDEA of calling them a snack....

It has long been known to me that one of the few foods that's so nutritious, it's possible to have too much of it, is liver.  I also subscribe to the "nutrient-deficiency theory of obesity."  My solution to THE epidemic -- get people to eat a mere quarter-pound of bacon-wrapped chicken liver before they eat anything else.  After that they can have pizza, they can have Krispy Kremes, they can have any goddam thing they want ... if they have room for it.

Did i say "more-ish"?  That was dumb.  I'm completely stuffed.

another LC cocktail

My first LC cocktail (which i think i've only mentioned in passing) was the Gimlet.  One packet of splenda mixed into an ounce of lime juice, to which is added three ounces of gin and ice.  It's crisp and sour and refreshing.  You can imagine the old days in India, sitting on the veranda sipping one while the seductive scent of curried lamb wafts from the kitchen....

Another favorite cocktail of mine is a bit more complex -- it's called the Twentieth Century.  In it, the lemon juice and white creme de cacao should be so well-balanced that you can taste both simultaneously.  My first attempts to lowcarbify it were less than stellar, but i had an idea this afternoon....  To my disappointment, "twenty-first century" is already taken for a cocktail.  :-(  So what can i call my improved version, perhaps the Savvy Twentieth Century, Tess's Twenty-first, the Atkins?  Whaddaya think?

• 1 1/2 oz. gin
• 3/4 oz. lemon juice
• 3/4 oz. Lillet Blanc
• 1-2 TEASPOON Torani White Chocolate Syrup (sugar-free, of course)

Shake with plenty of ice and strain into a cocktail glass.  L'CHAIM!

yet another recipe

I've been meaning to add this one for some time, and keep neglecting to.  Back in the '80s there was some stupid book we all heard about called "Real Men Don't Eat Quiche" -- but that's a total crock!  MY real man eats it, and cooks it proudly; i ask him to do so every time we have houseguests.

J's BEST-I'VE-EVER-TASTED QUICHE

1/2 lb. bacon
2 eggs + 2 extra yolks
1 1/2 c. cream
1/2 c. water
1 c. finely grated swiss cheese
1/4 t. white pepper

Butter well a 9" deep pie/torte pan, and strew the grated cheese in the bottom, then the cooked bacon.  Beat the eggs, liquids, and seasonings together, and pour carefully over the other ingredients.  Bake at 375 F for about a half-hour, till the top is slightly browned and the custard thoroughly set.

new recipe

This may be a record for me -- three posts in one day!  :-)  But even my husband urged me to include the recipe for our supper's main dish (a low-carb-ified version of an old family favorite):

GROUND BEEF GRAND STYLE (AKA "fake stroganoff")

one onion, chopped
1 1/2 lb. ground beef
small can of mushrooms, chopped
8 oz. cream cheese
2 T. catsup (or 1 T. tomato paste)
1/3 c. or more of cream
1 t. worcestershire sauce
1/2 t. tabasco
2 t. or more of salt
pepper to taste

Brown the onions, mushrooms and beef together, drain the fat.  Add the cream cheese and warm over a low flame to soften.  Stir in the other ingredients and adjust the seasonings to taste and texture (should be pretty moist -- not too stiff -- add more cream as needed).  Spoon into a casserole and bake at 350 F till bubbly.  Serve with your favorite low-carb bread ("paleo biscuits" are perfect).

GUMBO

Years ago, before i had any inkling that it would be interesting to visit a place called New Orleans, i picked up a cookbook at a sale of "withdrawn" library books, called "The Original Picayune Creole Cook Book."  I'm not sure why THAT, of all the cookbooks offered, called my name, but i'm sure glad i snagged it.  As a reenactor and a tradition-inspired cook, it has come to be one of my favorite vintage recipe books.

It's a window on an important culino-cultural event ... if that's a viable expression.  Everyone KNOWS that French cuisine is one of the world's greatest, and in La Nouvelle Orleans time-tested traditions met a previously-unrealized array of novel ingredients to create a new world of great food.  This book speaks of the heritage of the city which i consider the best restaurant town i've ever gotten to know.

The arrangement of chapters is interesting:  just beyond the Introduction and "Suggestions to Housekeepers" is "Creole Coffee" -- over two small-type pages of description and instruction for that most important support of life and civilization.  Just how to make café noir, and to augment it to make café au lait....  From this MOST basic "necessity," the book continues to another primary foodstuff, upon which it would be easy to subsist -- Soup.  But not just one chapter on soup -- chapters two through seven progress from "Soups" through "Meat Soups," "Fish Soups," "Lenten Soups," and "The Bouilli" to "Creole Gumbo."  (Then it moves on to Fish, etc.)

Oddly enough the book doesn't define "gumbo" and the casual reader will puzzle over why the variations aren't simply incorporated into one of the other categories of soup.  It doesn't seem to be defined by any particular ingredient or combination of them; it doesn't always contain okra, or filé (powdered dried sassafras leaves), or seafood, poultry or sausages, but can contain a wide variety.  Nor is it always thickened with roux or other grain derivatives, though it generally seems to be.  The origin of the name is even in doubt -- some think it's from the Bantu word for okra (ki ngombo), and others from the Choctaw word for filé (kombo).  Whatever the case, Gumbo has become an institution.

So with this book as a reference, you will probably think it extremely perverse of me to base my favorite gumbo on an old vegetarian version i picked up many years ago -- but i just like the flavor!  I use stock as a base which i stash in the freezer after crockpotting beef or pork roasts or chickens, or after boiling bones.  I put in whatever meats i have hanging around the refrigerator or freezer, depending on my whim.  I feel that some vegetables are a sine qua non (like onions, tomatoes, celery and okra), and others are a desirable elective (squash and bell peppers).  Unless you're skilled at concocting creole/cajun dishes, i strongly recommend the "spicy" version of Tony Chachere's Creole seasoning -- it has less salt in it, so you use less of it and then salt the gumbo to taste.  Then of course the bottle of Tabasco or Crystal hot sauce goes on the table, for those who think my recipe isn't hot enough.  :-)  In the creole cookbook, it's recommended to put rice on the table SEPARATELY, then add a couple of spoonsful to each serving -- the convention of serving gumbo atop a big pile of the stuff probably originated in restaurants ... or poor families.  Naturally, when i make this recipe for myself, i don't cook rice for it at all.

GUMBO A LA LOUISE

2 c. chopped onions -- the "hot" kind, not those damned sweet things!
2 T. butter or drippings
6 cloves garlic, or to taste
1/2 c. sliced carrots
1 c. sliced celery
2 c. stock
large can crushed or diced tomatoes with juice
2-4 c. sliced okra -- i often use frozen ones
2 medium diced bell peppers -- i like to use yellow, or one green and one orange
1 c. diced zucchini or yellow squash
1 T. cajun spice (i like Tony Chachere's spicy version -- contains less salt
1 t. paprika
1 lb. peeled, raw (imparts more flavor!) shrimp/prawns
a couple of raw diced chicken breasts, or sliced andouille or chorizo sausage, or diced ham or ... whatever floats your pirogue  ;-)

Sauté onions in the fat, stir in the garlic, carrots and celery and cook a little longer.  Add the other veggies, seasoning, stock, and sausage or chicken (or both).  Simmer slowly till the carrots and okra are almost "done" then add the shrimp, and cook another five minutes.  This is one of those concoctions which only get better as time goes by, even if your vegetables kinda disintegrate with subsequent warm-ups....

A NOTE ON FILÉ POWDER:  Filé should NEVER be heated in the pot!!!  This turns it stringy, and when people say they don't like gumbo, it's frequently because they've had badly-handled filé.  The Picayune cookbook recommends adding it right before transferring the gumbo to the tureen, and i've seen elsewhere that the best way is to stir it into the individual bowl.  As for myself, i rarely use it at all -- but i have some in case a guest does want it!  :-)

this oughta fool 'em

:-D  Got somebody in your Christmas circle whom YOU think ought to cut back on the sugar?  I tried a new recipe (which has been in my collection for years, untested) just now, for a cream-cheese-based fudge that i consider an unqualified success.  It even has that slightly gritty texture that REAL from-scratch fudge has!

I'll confess this stuff is not paleo-correct -- i used "forbidden" sweeteners -- but hey, it's holiday-time!  If one is not going to be PERFECT all the time (the BEST plan, i agree) ... if one needs to take a sweet to a holiday party that isn't the "weird stuff" WE prefer ... if our diabetic-idiot Aunt Gertrude INSISTS on eating fudge ...  well, this might be an acceptable choice.  (I'll publish it here AND put in on my recipe page.)

CREAM CHEESE FOOLIN' FUDGE

8 oz. block of cream cheese
3 T. cream
1 c. granulated/powdered erythritol
1 c. granulated/powdered xylitol (don't let the dog have any!)
4-6 oz. unsweetened "baking" chocolate
1 1/2 t. vanilla
1 t. sea salt (i used coarse-ground)
nuts, to taste

Place cream and broken chocolate in the top of a double-boiler and heat together till chocolate is melty (it doesn't have to become homogenous).  Blend the room-temp cheese in a food-processor and add in the sweeteners and vanilla till smooth.  Add the chocolate mixture and mix well.  Last, mix in the salt and nuts, then spread in a buttered pan, and chill to harden.

drove away at last

I made the trip yesterday, arriving home at about midnight.  I SHOULD have gotten on the scales this morning out of simple curiosity, but absent-mindedly took some supplements, which i only do AFTER weighing, under ordinary circumstances.  Staying consistent in the way certain things are done and measured give me a sense of controlling variables better.

The cold is still dragging me down, although the OTC "ameliorants" are allowing me to sleep and function a bit, even if it's in a low-energy sort of way.  I'm adding supplements back in a bit slowly, as one does with questionable foods after removing them from the diet for awhile.  So far, it's just the systemic enzymes, cod-liver oil, medium-dose iodine and mag-zinc capsules -- there's no doubt that those are significantly beneficial for me ... and besides, i added them in slowly in the first place.

I brought back a pint of shucked oysters from Dorignac's in NOLA but haven't decided exactly what to do with them, though Oysters Rockefeller Bisque is a distinct possibility.  The P & J Oyster Co. cookbook has a lovely collection of recipes, and the one i mentioned is a freebie on the website.  They used to have an extensive free brochure full of recipes, but after the oil spill a couple of years ago, they published the expanded hardcover version -- it probably has helped to keep them in business during these hard times, so i sure didn't regret purchasing it!  I really enjoy patronizing and promoting good businesses:  i believe that Dorignac was the first grocer to reopen after Katrina, and it's a really good one; P & J has been in the oyster business in Louisiana since 1876, and a lot of the local restaurants are  provisioned by them.  They're both staffed by some great people.

An additional quart of oysters are stored in my daughter's freezer.  We'll be joining them for Thanksgiving, and i have a vision of serving those lovely shellfish barbecued as a snack or first course....

in case you didn't notice...

After Kim asked about the bread recipe i prefer to fatbread, i started a page for that sort of thing.  Of course, i couldn't resist putting one of my favorite cocktail recipes first, and it's far from being a diet food -- it's just better than the HFCS-loaded mixes you can find for the French Quarter classic.  Enjoy!

I'll include more recipes as i become inspired.