these are a few of my favorite RECIPES

to start this page right, i introduce the

HURRICANE TESS

3/4 oz. gin (G'Vine is made from grapes, Monopolowa from potatoes)
1 oz. brandy
3/4 oz. apricot-flavored brandy
1 oz. white rum
1 1/2 oz. pineapple juice
1 1/2 oz. orange juice
1 1/2 oz. lime juice
1/2 oz. sugar-free raspberry syrup (Torani makes this, and it's not too hard to find)

Serve on the rocks -- and it's even better than the sugar-laden mixes!

***

okay, okay!  the Hurricane is full of fruit juice!  you CAN "have your Hurricane and drink it too" by using Torani/DaVinci SF syrups in pineapple and orange in VERY SMALL QUANTITIES, and making up the difference with club soday....

if you want a LOW CARB cocktail (sorry, Fred), i present my "correction" of the Twentieth Century, the

ATKINS COCKTAIL

1 1/2 oz. gin
3/4 oz. lemon juice
3/4 oz. Lillet Blanc (or white Dubonnet)
1 1/2 TEASPOON Torani sugar-free white chocolate syrup

shake with plenty of ice and strain into a cocktail glass.   ahhhhh....

***

a Valentines' Day invention of my own, the

BITTER VALENTINE

2 oz. kirschwasser (dry -- not a sweet liqueur but simple cherry brandy)
1 oz. heavy cream
2 drops almond extract
2 drops liquid sucralose (or 1 packet of splenda)
2 dashes chocolate bitters
1 drop red coloring (if desired)

Shake for 30 seconds with plenty of ice, then strain into a cocktail glass, and garnish with a maraschino cherry or a shaving of dark chocolate.

***

summer time is tiki-drink time!

SUGAR-FREE RASPBERRY DAIQUIRI (makes 2)

1 cup ice cubes, crushed in a blender
4 oz. white or amber rum
1 oz. sugar-free raspberry syrup (Torani or Da Vinci)
1 oz. lime juice

After the ice is crushed, pour in the other ingredients and blend well.  Needless to say, it will be easy to make any flavor you prefer by changing the syrup.  I just happen to keep raspberry around for many purposes.

following the same procedure using 100% agave tequila will give you a flavored margarita.  ;-)

***

cold?  wet?  everybody else is drinking grocery-store eggnog and you want to show them what's GOOOOOD?  here ya go:

HOT TOM & JERRY

In a nice big mug, beat well with your immersion blender:
   one whole egg
Add and beat together:
   1/8 teaspoon each (ground) allspice, cinnamon and cloves
   about a packet of sucralose or stevia
   1/2 jigger brandy
   1 jigger dark rum
Stir in boiling water (or very hot coffee) to fill the mug, and taste for sweetness.  Grate a little nutmeg over the top.


...and don't forget to read the back-story!

***

HAZELNUT CHIA BREAD

2 c. hazelnut meal (almond flour works fine)
1 T. xanthan gun
2 T. chia seeds
1/2 t. sea-salt
1 t. baking soda
1 packet stevia (or a couple of drops of liquid)
4 eggs
2 t. vinegar

Preheat oven to 350 F and grease a loaf pan; cut a piece of kitchen parchment so it covers the bottom and two sides.  (The parchment makes it MUCH easier to remove, but isn't absolutely essential.)

Combine the dry ingredients in a food processor and blend briefly to get the lumps out of the nut-flour and make a homogenous mixture.  Break the eggs into it, add the vinegar, and PULSE it several times so that everything is mixed in ... but you don't want to actually beat the batter.  Spoon into the loaf pan and smooth the top, then bake for about 45 minutes.  Loosen the loaf, but allow the bread to cool in its pan awhile before slicing, as this recipe tends to shrink up and malform itself if cooled too fast or cut too soon.

This is my favorite bread recipe for toast, after trying a number of different kinds.  If you beat the eggs well before adding them to the dry ingredients, it'll be a bit fluffier ... but doing it the lazy way works fine, too.

***

got a surplus of green tomatoes at the end of the growing season (or any other time)?  this stuff is stellar --

MEG'S GREEN-TOMATO CHUTNEY

equivalent of 2 c. sugar, of the sweetener of your preference -- to me, 1 c. bulk-style sucralose works
1 c. cider vinegar
2 t. sea-salt
1 t. ground ginger
1/2 t. each mustard seeds and whole black peppercorns
1/4 t. cayenne pepper
2 lb. EACH, green tomatoes and tart green apples, peeled and seeded, diced
3 medium summer squash, diced
2 medium onions, thinly sliced
1 c. raisins (optional) -- or maybe home-dried berries
1/3 c. coarsely-chopped pickled ginger (optional)

Combine the sweetener, vinegar and spices, and bring to a boil.  Mix in the tomatoes, apples, squash and onions, and simmer gently, uncovered, until moderately thickened, about one hour.  Add raisins and candied ginger, and cook till thickened, about 10-15 minutes.

Fill scalded canning jars to within 1/4-inch of the rim with boiling-hot chutney, making sure no air-pockets remain.  Making sure rim is clean, place NEW, scalded lids on top and screw bands on.  Place jars on a rack in a canning kettle with enough hot water to cover by an inch.  Bring to a gentle boil and process 5 minutes.  Remove and cool thoroughly.

If you're daunted by the idea of canning (or don't have the equipment), i suppose you could divide the batch and freeze the excess....

***

going on the road again usually inspires me to make a batch of paleo "protein bars" based on the ones Mark published YEARS ago.  i made minor changes to the recipe to suit my taste and convenience -- more egg to make it hold together better, whatever dried fruit and nut-butters i have on hand or want to get rid of, sucralose or stevia for sweetening, and balance of nut-flours to tickle my fancy.  i've played with the idea of icing the plainer versions with melted chocolate, or adding spices, but haven't gotten around to it.  i suspect that some tweaks could make the basic bar stand in very nicely for Christmas cookies!  hmmmmm....

SNACK BARS

1 1/2 c. your choice of a mixture of chopped nuts (including coconut) ... or nut flours
1/4 c. nut butter of choice
1/4 melted coconut oil (butter works too)
1 1/2 t. vanilla extract ... or maybe some anise, or praline, or ...
packet of sweetener of your choice
1/2 c. of a good "pure" whey protein powder
2 eggs
1/2 t. sea-salt
1/2 c. dried blueberries -- or anything else without sugar-coating (abominable practice!)

Blend in a food-processor (add fruit for a last quick blend, after everything else is smooth), dump in greased baking pan, bake (325 degrees, about 15 minutes).  It's that easy.  ;-)

***

great appetizer to take to a potluck

JALAPENO CHEESE SQUARES

1 pound sharp cheddar, shredded
8 to 12 medium to large eggs
chopped jalapeno, to taste (or sliced seeded banana peppers like i used, as the shop's choices were limited; the jar held about a pint before draining)

Beat the eggs well, add the other ingredients and bake at 350° F until lightly browned.  Let cool for 20 minutes or more, then cut into squares.

***

ALMOND "BUTTER" COOKIES (about 2 doz.)

1 cup almond meal
1 cup dehydrated cream (ordered through Amazon it's less expensive than Expert Foods')
sweetener equal to 1/3 c. sugar
1 t. baking powder
1/4 t. salt
1 whole egg
1 eggyolk
1/2 t. vanilla
2 T. water

Preheat oven to 325 degrees F, and cover a baking sheet with parchment paper.  Combine dry ingredients; beat egg and extra yolk together, and combine with other wet ingredients.  Mix all together, form into patties of about 1 T, dough.  Bake about 12 minutes, till lightly browned.

Optional -- decorate with colored "sugar" made from 2 T. xylitol crystals (Now makes this) combined with 2 drops of food coloring, in a small plastic bag.

NOTE:  Xylitol is toxic to dogs!  if you like to share your treats with your four-legged family members, sweeten cookies with sucralose and leave off the decorative stuff.

***

J'S WONDERFUL CAULIFLOWER CASSEROLE

6 T. butter
2 cloves garlic
4 oz. cooked ham or bacon, chopped
1 head cauliflower, broken into florettes
thickener equal to 2 T. flour* -- or leave it out
1 c. cream
1/4 t. salt
pepper to taste
pinch of cayenne
1 1/2 c. shredded swiss cheese
2 T. chopped parsley

Melt butter in a skillet, and saute garlic and ham for 2 minutes.  Add cauliflower and cook until crisp-tender.  Combine cream and thickener; stir into skillet and blend well.  Add salt, pepper and cayenne.  Cook and stir till thickened and bubbly, and the cauliflower is as tender as you like it.  Pour into a 2-quart baking dish, sprinkle with cheese, and place under a preheated broiler till lightly browned.  Sprinkle with parsley and serve immediately.

This recipe reheats well, and can also be baked with your meat dish for a half-hour or so instead of broiling.

*we've used everything from potato starch to konjac flour for this.  the Expert Foods convenience-product called Thicken/Thin Not Starch works well, as would arrowroot powder or tapioca -- choose your favorite or what you have on hand!

***

CREAM CHEESE FOOLIN' FUDGE

8 oz. block of cream cheese
3 T. cream
1 c. granulated/powdered erythritol (or less -- after it sat in the fridge awhile this seemed a little over-sweet to me)
1 c. granulated/powdered xylitol (don't let the dog have any!)
4-6 oz. unsweetened "baking" chocolate
1 1/2 t. vanilla
1 t. sea salt (i used coarse-ground)
nuts, to taste, but more tends to be better

Place cream and broken chocolate in the top of a double-boiler and heat together till chocolate is melty (it doesn't have to become homogenous).  Blend the room-temp cheese in a food-processor and add in the sweeteners and vanilla till smooth.  Add the chocolate mixture and mix well.  Last, mix in the salt and nuts, then spread in a buttered pan, and chill to harden.

***


GUMBO A LA LOUISE

2 c. chopped onions -- the "hot" kind, not those damned sweet things!
2 T. butter or drippings
6 cloves garlic, or to taste
1/2 c. sliced carrots
1 c. sliced celery
2 c. stock
large can crushed or diced tomatoes with juice
2-4 c. sliced okra -- i often use frozen ones
2 medium diced bell peppers -- i like to use yellow, or one green and one orange
1 c. diced zucchini or yellow squash
1 T. cajun spice (i like Tony Chachere's spicy version -- contains less salt
1 t. paprika
1 lb. peeled raw (imparts more flavor!) shrimp/prawns
a couple of raw diced chicken breasts, or sliced andouille or chorizo sausage, or diced ham or ... whatever floats your pirogue  ;-)

Sauté onions in the fat, stir in the garlic, carrots and celery and cook a little longer.  Add the other veggies, seasoning, stock, and sausage or chicken (or both).  Simmer slowly till the carrots and okra are almost "done" then add the shrimp, and cook another five minutes.  This is one of those concoctions which only get better as time goes by, even if your vegetables kinda disintegrate with subsequent warm-ups....

A NOTE ON FILÉ POWDER:  Filé should NEVER be heated in the pot!!!  This turns it stringy, and when people say they don't like gumbo, it's frequently because they've had badly-handled filé gumbo.  The Picayune cookbook recommends adding it right before transferring the gumbo to the tureen, and i've seen elsewhere that the best way is to stir it into the individual bowl, just in case there are leftovers in the tureen that you might want to reheat..  As for myself, i rarely use it at all -- but i have some in case a guest does want it!

***
i KNOW liver is good for me, but the texture kinda puts me off.  this recipe removes that problem for me, and it's a lot easier (and cleaner) than frying.

LIVER CASSEROLE

1# liver (recipe calls for pig's liver, but i've used beef)
6 rashers "streaky bacon" -- :-D  i use about a half-pound of this great local farmers' market stuff....
1 large onion, sliced
2 or 3 pinches of dried sage
1/2 pint stock, brought to a boil
1 T. chopped parsley

I generally buy sliced liver, which i cut in about 1" squares; put a layer of these in the bottom of a small casserole dish (8"?), sprinkle a pinch of sage over and pepper it too, then put in a layer of uncooked bacon cut in comparable-sized pieces, then some of the onion, and repeat these layers a couple of times.  Pour the stock over it all, and bake about an hour at 350 F (180 C or "gas mark 4").  Sprinkle the fresh parsley on and serve.

***

GROUND BEEF GRAND STYLE (AKA "fake stroganoff")

one onion, chopped
1 1/2 lb. ground beef
small can of mushrooms, chopped
8 oz. cream cheese
2 T. sugar-free catsup (or 1 T. tomato paste)
1/3 c. or more of cream
1 t. worcestershire sauce
1/2 t. tabasco
2 t. of coarse seasalt (use less if your salt is fine)
pepper to taste

Brown the onions, mushrooms and beef together, drain the fat.  Add the cream cheese and warm over a low flame to soften.  Stir in the other ingredients and adjust the seasonings to taste and texture (should be pretty moist -- not too stiff -- add more cream as needed).  Spoon into a casserole and bake at 350 F till bubbly.  Serve with your favorite low-carb bread ("paleo biscuits" are perfect).

***

J's BEST-I'VE-EVER-TASTED QUICHE

1/2 lb. bacon
2 eggs + 2 extra yolks
1 1/2 c. cream
1/2 c. water
1 c. finely grated swiss cheese
1/4 t. white pepper
pinch of nutmeg

Butter well a 9" deep pie/torte pan, and strew the grated cheese in the bottom, then the cooked, crumbled bacon.  Beat the eggs, liquids, and seasonings together, and pour carefully over the other ingredients.  Bake at 375 F for about a half-hour, till the top is slightly browned and the custard thoroughly set.

***

Mayonnaise

This is the recipe that i like best, but everyone will probably find a combination of oils that suits their tastebuds, alone as well as in various special combinations.  For example, "potato" salad is particularly good with bacon grease as one of the fats involved in the dressing....

1 egg
1-2 T. lemon juice, depending on destined use and how tangy you like your mayo
1/2 t. ground mustard
1/4 t. pepper -- white pepper is the prettiest choice  ;-)
1/4 t. sea salt
1/3 c. olive oil
1/3 c. avocado oil
1/3 c. MCT oil

You CAN use all-olive, but it dominates the flavor of the dressing.  I haven't experimented with things like macadamia oil, but i think it would be lovely and buttery.

...And HERE is the method that turned me from a rarely-making to a routinely-making mayo chef!  All i can say is WOW....


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekytK_cWCGI

********

CATSUP

4 cans diced tomatoes
   2 onions (not the sweet kind), chopped coarsely
   1 t. minced garlic
   3 medium jalapenos, or to taste
Cook over very low heat for several hours till everything is quite mushy.  Let cool, then blend till smooth.  Return to the pot and add:
   6 t. sugar's-worth in whatever sweetener you prefer (I use 6 drops of liquid sucralose)
   1/2 c vinegar (I prefer ACV)
   a sprinkle of celery salt
In a cheesecloth bag place:
   1" cinnamon stick
   1 t. whole cloves
   1 t. whole allspice
   1 t. black peppercorns
   1 small nutmeg, broken up
Simmer to the desired consistency, remove the spice-bag, then refrigerate, freeze, or can (if you know how).

***

this is the meatloaf that fooled my SIL and grandkids into eating liver!  :-D  the BBQ sauce is a cheat-ingredient, no doubt, but there's not much in there and the taste is worth the carbs, to me!

LIVER-CONCEALING MEATLOAF

   1# ground beef
   1# ground pork
   1# bacon, cut in 1" pieces
   1/2# beef liver, soaked in milk, parboiled and chopped fine
   1/2 c. barbecue sauce
   2 eggs

Combine homogeneously (i food-processed the liver, then pulsed in the other meats and sauce, then mixed in the eggs with my hands).  Form into mound in a good-sized baking pan, cover with foil, and bake at 350 F for 1 1/2 hour.  Uncover, drizzle with catsup or more BBQ if you like, and return to the oven for a half-hour.

Nobody had a clue they were eating liver!  My daughter who's not a big fan of the stuff, couldn't detect any flavor of it.  The children, 7 and 10, thought it was great!  Leftovers disappeared rapidly.

Next time, i won't forget to add onions too!

*****

DEVILED HAM

1 1/2# ham, food-processed fine
3 small sweet pickles
1/4 c. dijon mustard
1/2 c. mayo
4 oz. melted unsalted butter
1/2 t. pepper
1/4 t. allspice
cayenne pepper to taste

To the ground ham, add the pickles, and process till everything is the texture you like.  Add everything else, and mix thoroughly.
*****

SOPA DE HIGADO

1/2# liver
1 qt. beef stock
your favorite thickener -- I use konjac flour
1/2 c. dry sherry

Cook the liver in bacon grease.  Puree it with part of the stock.  Add the rest of the stock.  Bring to a simmer, and whisking constantly, sift in the konjac flour (or whatever) slowly till it begins to thicken a little.  Add salt and pepper to taste.  Stir in the sherry when you serve it.

***

STUNNINGLY-EASY BLENDER HOLLANDAISE SAUCE

 3 eggyolks
1/4 t. salt
1 T. lemon juice
sprinkle of cayenne pepper
1/2 c. butter

Whirl the yolks, lemon juice and seasonings in the blender for half-a-minute.  Melt the butter in the microwave (or on the stove), and carefully heat it till very hot and bubbly -- if you don't keep an eye on it, it can boil over!  With the blender running, slowly pour in the butter.  It's done!

***

CHILE PEPPERS STUFFED WITH CHEESE AND SAUSAGE

1# sausage -- breakfast-style, Italian, Andouille, chorizo -- whatever you like
8 oz. cream cheese, softened
1 cup grated cheese -- parmesan, Swiss, provolone, jack, cheddar....
1# large-ish fresh jalapeño peppers ... or whatever

Cut the stem-end off the peppers. halve them lengthwise, and remove the seeds.  Brown the sausage, add the cheeses and mix till homogenous.  Fill the peppers, then bake 20 minutes at 425F (about 220C).

***

GINGERYBREAD

2 c. flaxseed meal
1 T. baking powder
1 t. salt
5 eggwhites (I use 1 c. from the eggwhite carton)
2 whole eggs
1/2 c. water
5 T. melted butter or coconut oil
2/3 c. "sucralose for baking" -- comes in the big bag, not little packets
2 t. ground ginger
1 t. ground cinnamon
1/2 t. ground cloves
1/4 t. allspice
1 T. molasses, optional (adds minimal sugar, but some depth to the flavor)

Combine the dry ingredients in your food processor, then add the wet ones and beat well.  Pour into a greased loaf-pan, and bake one hour at 350 degrees F.

****

Move over, fat-bombs!  Here are:

INOSITOL BOMBS

2 oz. softened cream cheese
1 c. inositol powder
1/4 t. extract-type flavoring
2 T. powdered erythritol
1 T. salted butter, melted

Beat together, add a drop of coloring if you so desire.  Form with molds or create little patties or balls -- the mixture has a texture reminiscent of PlayDoh.  :-) 

My first batch was flavored with lemon extract, but my next one will be wintergreen -- my old favorite.  Then i'll have to try it with peppermint, then cinnamon....