stress and ideal weight

My husband hasn't been away on a business trip in WEEEEKS (and there for awhile we thought he might never be again).  Fortunately, as time has passed, we've gotten used to being around each other so much, again.  Snoring and tossing no longer wakes me up so much during the night, and i hope that whatever i do that discombobulates him is not as acute as it probably was, when he just returned from the last assignment.  There are still times of stress which happen when one has to share living space, but it's reduced, and even reversed in some situations (when the other person takes a burden from one's shoulders).

Of course, i haven't lost a pound since he got home, and he isn't even obstructive about diet.  The gods only know how people manage to change their diet in an environment which is actively hostile!

My weight has, in fact, become quite stable ... at 8 pounds over where i want it [eyes rolling].  This is something of a confirmation of an old hypothesis of mine -- that when you reach and hold a weight for a reasonably long period of time, that "held" weight becomes a new defended normal for the body (i would use the s-word, but i absolutely HATE the connotations that "setpoint" has gained over the last few years).

I don't believe in weight or fat setpoint theories as described by so many purported experts, though i have observed that my body WANTS to maintain a steady state.  Further, it WILL do this as long as i eat a low-carb diet.  I'm not one who says one CAN'T gain weight on VLC, but MY body WILL NOT:  there's no way i could eat and drink enough ketogenic food to make me gain fat -- my appetite switch trips OFF shortly after i get more than 100 grams each of fat and protein under my belt for one day.  In fact, if that point is reached by lunchtime, i don't have any appetite again for almost 24 hours.

No -- the "setpoint" my body wants to maintain is ANY weight it's held reasonably constant for more than a couple of months.  The ONLY way it goes up is through carelessness in carb intake, and the ONLY way it goes down is through a low-alcohol, XLC diet (which is only calorie-controlled because of the "100-gram rule" i described above).  Stress affects the situation (for me) through perverting hormones and sleep ... and desire for alcohol, the "gateway drug to carbs."

I think i'm at a "healthy" weight right now, and some may suspect it is "ideal" because my body is defending it so easily.  My daughter is in a similar position -- her two-decades-plus-younger body is resisting HER attempts at weight loss, too.  But i don't think these weights are ideal even though they are healthy, because (in my case) the 20 pounds of fat i COULD afford to lose are 20 pounds my joints are better off not bearing, and which my systems would be better off not serving with circulation, sensation and nutrients; extra weight without which my "challenged" mitochondria would be much less burdened, when supplying my body with energy!

So as my stress levels lessen (I HOPE), i anticipate dropping some 6-8 more pounds ... which i'll then make every effort to maintain for two or three months before making another "push" for weight loss.  See how good this hypothesis of mine really is!

HUNGRY today!

After doing all that unaccustomed moving around last night, my appetite is more urgent than it's been in a long time!  I assume i used up a lot of muscle glycogen, and my body is finding it a challenge to replenish it.  GOOD.

Encouraged by Robb Wolf to follow my workout with a LOW-carb meal, i had sardines and chardonnay, and cream in my coffee before bed.  This morning i held out on black coffee till noon, but after my grassfed burger i was still not sated.  Hmmmm, unusual.  I took a shot of coconut oil and was satisfied till ... all of three-thirty!  More unusual still.  Just finished an early supper of filet mignon with butter, and tried a small piece of the sourdough rye-n-injun bread i made for my husband (but doing without wine).  We'll see how the appetite goes during the evening.  ...AND see how the scale reads in the morning.

My decision to fill my water bottle with cold licorice-root tea last night seems to have been a good one.  There's a tiny bit of naturally-occurring sugar in the stuff, making it pleasant to rehydrate and also helping my liver with the glucose supply.  I tried using my Vibrams in place of fencing shoes, but i'm not sure if it will work -- the front foot (that points forward) was fine, but the back foot presents the arch-side to the opponent, and it wasn't getting the support that conventional shoes provide.  I'm gonna have to think about it....

the exhaustion factor

There's something i notice, reading "the latest" on some days:  the more bad political news there is, the less easy it is to eat rationally.  Or rather, the easier it is to go get a glass of wine and something to nibble with it.  If i choose to ignore the temptation, i continue my day with an increased sense of weariness.

Lesson:  hopelessness is a poison.

Strangely enough, one of the presentations i look forward to hearing from the AHS2 is that of Richard Nikoley.  I disagree with him on a number of issues, but agree on a few.  He's speaking on how our modern sociopolitical situation is out of step with the systems with which our species evolved (my paraphrase).  In this limited concept, i agree heartily; i just wonder if he has any ideas on how to remedy the problem besides the old hippie dropping-out thing.

What DOES one do, when one's world is fubar?  I haven't got a clue.  I haven't got the ambition or the gifts to enter politics and "change things from the inside" [snort:  we all know how well THAT works].  I haven't got the energy and passion to march and chant and carry a placard.  I haven't even got the stubbornness to debate things in writing, though that's more my metier.  I can only marvel at the stupid behavior and (lack of) reasoning in people i could have sworn were smarter than that.

So i block the most obnoxious on FB and resist blocking those who are more of a benefit than liability despite their occasional disconnect from reality, and refuse to follow up on their idiocies.  (I also sometimes satisfy myself with a little fantasy, picturing them in the world they would consider ideal, and their subsequent illumination....)  I do a little chakra balancing and take a deep breath, and try to clear the psychic air around me.

But, DAMN!!!  It's no wonder so many people feel the need to medicate.

goals beyond fat loss

I was thinking about the kind of goal that helps you choose a permanent dietary plan....  What do you want to do, eat as much as possible without gaining (or while still losing), or be able to eat as little as you can and still be healthy and comfortable?

Of course, "we" know that our low-carb plan does both, but what do we really WANT out of it?

When we come to low-carb from a "normal" diet, i think the former goal is the attractive one.  Eating all the steak, bacon, butter, cheese, cream, whatever it was i wanted and shorted myself on, back in my calorie/fat restrictive days, seemed like a vision of heaven.  Imagine eating that stuff, and being able to lose weight at the same time...!!!

Nowadays, i actually relish the other aspect of it.  The ability to go most of the day without HAVING to refuel myself is a real luxury.

You'll probably get sick of hear this, but back in the old low-fat days, i was ALWAYS "hungry" ... that is, when i was eating for weight loss.  My belly may have been crammed to bursting with pasta, fruits, vegetables, and chicken breasts, but i was never satisfied.  That's a nasty feeling, and it pours over into other aspects of life.  I was NOT HAPPY in those days.  "Triumphs" didn't come close to often-enough to be encouraging, and although not actually depressed, i was more like constantly irritable.  Doing my best, i might be able to lose one pound in a week, and that was when i was in my 30s!  Walking the dogs every night and riding the stationary bike regularly.  It's no wonder that people can't keep going on that kind of program -- there's way too much privation and effort for very little return when you're young, and when you're at my current age ... well, "best of British luck" as they used to say....

My mother is a stick-in-the-mud for moderation.  She's one of those lucky types who was always healthy, though as far back as i can remember she was considered "pleasingly plump" -- it's been a long time since you heard that expression, isn't it?  :-)  In her later years, she's had a number of problems:  high-blood pressure for decades, GERD, both knees replaced, skin cancers, breast cancer, recently some colon cancer, too (she'll be 89 this month).  She thinks i'm some kind of nut because i try to eat to improve my health, and she loves to remind me of the old low-fat days ... even though she believes the saturated-fat nonsense.  For decades she hasn't been able to delay a meal for more than a half-hour without extreme loss of energy and mood.  If unavoidable circumstances take things farther, she gets shaky and weak.  She likes to keep peanut-butter-cheese-crackers in her purse, just in case.  I tell her why she feels so bad, but i don't think she believes it.  In any case, for her to improve metabolic flexibility at this age is probably a pipe dream.

Compare this food-dependent situation with my recent experiences:  one of the best examples is what i carry in the car to eat and drink, when i do one of my marathon drives.  I USED to pack (in my Atkins days) a bagful of bars and shakes, nuts, cheese, and processed meat along with the cooler full of diet sodas and water.  Last trip (coming back from Houston, a 13-14 hour drive), i had the cooler and the remains of a bag of home-processed pumpkin seeds.  Oh, i was fully prepared to stop for a bunless double hamburger (and i ended up doing so, in Atoka, Oklahoma when i stopped for the dog's sake), but the bit is -- it's now easy to go for a LO-O-O-ONG time without refueling.  No snacks.  It's a rare glucose-burner who can say that.

Along with low-carbing and eating whole foods, i have also come to believe in eating instinctively, in the sense of not eating when not hungry.  If a certain food really calls my name these days, it probably means i need something that it provides.  I track nutrients and calories in Fitday not because i'm really CONCERNED about them, but because it can be interesting to "keep score."  For example, one day this week i consumed about 2200 kcal (protein refeed day), and yesterday less than 1000.  I wasn't planning to, it just happened through eating TO APPETITE.

Once the carbohydrate "addictions" are overcome, i think it becomes possible to listen to your appetite cues again.  Of course, being a predominant fat-burner is important in this equation, otherwise you'll be cued to eat when the fuel switchover drags a little.  Regaining the best possible degree of metabolic flexibility seems to be the other goal that low-carb-diet-success aspirants need to aim for.

Training your body to primarily burn fats and ketones for fuel seems to be like training a child or dog -- until the lesson is well ingrained you need to be very consistent.  If i ALWAYS require Spenser to be patient and submissive before i reward him, his behavior is reliable.  Switching back and forth, confusing him with unfamiliar demands and allowing him to run amok occasionally makes him an unruly and self-willed dog.

sometimes, fasting just FEELS good!

With one thing and another, my dietary habits have been VERY discombobulated this week!  I did well at my event, but not at my daughter's house.  It's a social thing -- we talk a lot and drink more wine absent-mindedly, then our inhibitions are down and we eat things we shouldn't.  Yesterday i fasted till mid-afternoon, and i felt significantly better ... till i overloaded at dinnertime.  My digestion felt very "off."   This morning, even coffee doesn't sound very good.

Here in the Houston area, it never gets COLD, ever.  Nor does the humidity ever go away.  Mold is a problem, and i'm sensitive to it.

When an animal doesn't feel well, it goes off its feed, and even children instinctively lose their appetites when under the weather (till their ignorant parents succumb to marketing, and ply them with drugs and drinks).  Nature knows what she's doing.

I've learned from Nature, too -- our afflicted digestive systems "reset" themselves best when not burdened with input.  I'll be taking it MUCH easier today, and staying away from "yeast" foods like cheese, wine, mushrooms, etc.

Dr. Donaldson, in "Strong Medicine," spoke extensively about allergy, and Dr. Atkins devoted a couple of chapters to food sensitivity as well.  The variety of unpleasant symptoms possible when one eats "incompatible" things is truly impressive.  Who would think that a little sugar would result in sinus issues ... but it can.  Ditto for pollen in the air and weight loss, and for a surprising range of foodstuffs and athlete's-foot.  One of most beneficial effects of an all-fresh-meat diet MAY just be its low-histidine aspects.

Thank heavens i have some potato-based gin to fall back on if needed -- less reactive than things like wine and grain alcohols!  Alcohol HAS therapeutic uses, after all....  ;-)

the power of "no appetite"

Since my LAST guest left, i put in about 24 hours -- 4 meals'-worth -- of the Strong Medicine protocol, which is to say that i ate 8 ounces of fatty meat and a cup of coffee for each meal, and nothing else but 3 cups of water between breakfast and lunch, 3 more between lunch and dinner, and NOTHING else except for the water and supplements i took first thing in the morning and before bed.  My appetite left me.

This morning's weigh-in shows that i've re-lost the pounds i put on during this last trip.  Now i can work on actually making some progress!  It's annoying that i spend so much time "recovering" from the damaging effects of "normal" (albeit low-carb) food!  Sometimes you can dig in your heels and say NO to the inappropriate things available to eat, but there are moments when it's rude or just plain unkind to resist.  [sigh]

On those rare and golden occasions when i lose my appetite, i've learned that it's best to RIDE that pony as far as it'll take me!  The first time i tried the StM technique, i was actually alarmed at how fast the weight came off, and i added in some vegetable matter at dinnertime to slow it a bit.  Donaldson said that it's "safe" to take off three pounds a week, but that you want your skin to "follow" the fat reduction....  After two abdominal surgeries, my belly is unattractive enough without screwing it up more, so i got concerned -- or is that too much information?  :-)

If i back off any plan while the going is GREAT, i lose a lot of impetus, AND re-entering the program is less effective than it was before.  While it's working ya gotta HANG ONTO IT!!!  Let the goodies pass you by, and explain to the disappointed face in front of you that you've developed digestive difficulties with whatever it is they're offering ... but that it looks SO GOOD that only the fear of later pain keeps you from digging in.  ;-)    In theory, anyone who cares about you will want to spare you PAIN, so it'll be a lot more acceptable than "you want me to screw up my diet for boxed cake mix and cool-whip frosting???"

So, one would think that having to detour from the StM for a couple of days would be a downer -- well, not THIS time, because the reason is different!  Yesterday i was not hungry until late afternoon (i DID have some coffee during the morning...) so around 5:00 i had a tin of sardines, a little of my hazelnut-chia bread, butter, and some white wine.  (It filled me to the "80%" level, so i really didn't feel the need to eat more, and i didn't wake this morning ravenous.)  Success!  I'm on a roll again, and i give full credit to the diet plan that CAUSES a lack of appetite.

Incidentally, i'm back to feeling good about skipping breakfast -- Dr. Donaldson frowned on this because it "put out the fat-burning fire."  Kindke recently posted about the morning cortisol surge that's normal for us, and how it encourages glucose intolerance, insulin resistance, and fat storage if one eats during it.  Now, this may be fine and dandy for gymrats who want to use it to put on muscle, but frankly i'm FAR more interested in how i can work around it to LOSE FAT.  I simply am not hungry in the morning unless i've been eating too many carbs, so why fight nature? ... As a matter of fact, fighting nature at ANY time is just plain stoopid.

So, fighting natural appetite is HISTORY from my point of view!  The thing that i've found workable is to manipulate it through food choice; i eat StM-fashion till my appetite is pretty much gone, and then i ride it with prudent low-carb variations like a surfer rides a wave.

Kowabunga.