I first started this blog, because i googled for a blog written by a middle-aged woman with hypothyroidism, who was successfully losing weight and gaining energy and health, and at that time i couldn't find much. (Many more have joined me since, which i consider a very good thing!) I figured that this is a niche area in which we can all learn from each other, and with any kind of luck i'd attract others who might contribute their experiences, as well.
What i didn't realize at the time is that blogging is an excellent way to get stuff off my chest, which my friends and relatives obviously don't give a damn about.* If anyone looks at this page and doesn't find the subject-matter of interest to them, they're perfectly free to skip it -- but i've had a chance to express myself nonetheless. I've used this space to vent frustrations on a myriad of subjects, and for the most part it's been very helpful to my state of mind.
You see, i believe that people "close to us" only care about us AS IT RELATES TO THEM. Sure, they say they love us, and i'm sure they're being truthful, but it isn't US they love, it's the wife, the mother, the child, the side-kick, etc. They have a template of the ROLE, and as long as one doesn't step too far outside it, one is acceptable IN it. Does anyone value the unique individuals we all are? I'm forced to conclude -- very damned few.
When I get to the point, in real life, that i'm forced to SAY things that i feel and think, but which others don't want to hear, what i've written above becomes horribly clear. One may get the oppressive feelings out in the open, but the feedback usually makes one feel even worse than before. Solutions to the problem are rarely reached, but resentment is created via defensiveness.
Blogging allows a portal for the frustrations to be aired, at least -- most of the time, with little negative response of any importance. Sure, the trolls may come out and try to make one feel worse than one does already, but their input is rather pathetic than impactful. Once someone said some rather cutting things when i was feeling REALLY awful, but her point of view didn't take into account some of the personalities in the case, so wasn't germane....
So pardon me for venting -- yet again! :-) Mercury has gone retrograde, which is always problematic, and the moon is in the sign of Cancer (my own) and i find that particularly difficult. Our planned yard and garage renovations are VERY stress-inducing, and have been so for months.... My blog has GOT to be my arena for expressing my frustration, because it is the only venue where it is at all cathartic to do so.
* NONE of my face-to-face friends ever read my blog -- NONE. I consider this proof that they really have no interest in ME. My daughter and husband read it rarely, and not even my niece who has similar physiology to mine is a reader. I believe this says volumes. My mother doesn't read it, either -- and OF COURSE not my son.