Friday, July 4, 2014

an example

I had a friend with a weight problem....

Now, lest you call me the pot which calls the kettle black, i'll tell you what my own weight-history has been.  Having been diagnosed with hypothyroidism at the age of six months, I spent my entire childhood hungry for meat but raised on white bread, margarine, 2% milk, cereal and sandwiches, school lunches and a real home-cooked dinner -- the usual stuff for the '60s!  I was chubby till puberty, but not obese like the kids one sees nowadays.  At that point, coincidentally, I got fed up with the nerd-harassment I received from the "cool girls" at the bus stop, and started walking the just-over-a-mile to school, and that helped my conditioning considerably.

Through my teens, eating when I wanted and spontaneously fasting when not hungry, I got quite lean but was never skinny my grandmother observed once that I was "becoming quite willowy."  At 5'3.5" I weighed between 110 and 115.  This continued into my twenties, but it was during my second pregnancy that I got actually "overweight" and the scale didn't want to dip below 130.

From then on, my weight followed the predictable pattern -- 130s in my 30s, 140s in my 40s, 150s in my 50s.  At one point my weight went up to 165;  I looked in the mirror and to that resemblance of my (obese) grandmother I said, "Grammy, we need to lose weight!"  I learned about low-carb, and the rest is history.

But the point is, i'm not one of those naturally-thin people who can eat ANYTHING, and I never was.  To get back to the subject of my obese friend:

She struggled with her weight by conventional means, and got her doctor to prescribe every pharmaceutical that came along that promised loss.  On speed, she got down to about 160, but couldn't maintain it -- her downfall was always having a naughty food "just this once" every single day.  I've never asked her what she weighs and she doesn't volunteer it.  When I found how effective LC is, I excitedly told her about it and she reluctantly promised to read the Atkins book -- the next time I saw her, she told me her brother said there were kidney problems in the family and none of them (all at least overweight and some grossly obese) should ever try low-carb.  I didn't expostulate.

She's a bread-lover and she's not about to give it up.  It's things like this that make me HAVE to believe in the addictive qualities of wheat and sugar!  Sure, I like them both, but they do such horrible things to my body, I have no temptation to suck it up and keep "using."  Call me a hedonist -- feeling "normal" with energy and no bloat and painlessness of joint and gut is FAR more important to me than being "one of the gang" and eating all the things that make me feel horrible!

I try not to rub in her weight-control "failure" though i'm sure she feels it -- and i'm a dozen years older than she, with far more metabolic baggage.  I saw her last some three years ago when she invited me to do a history program with her, and she hasn't invited me back OR accepted my invitation to visit here.  She's bigger than ever, and is going further down the scary road (which she started down early) of living through her daughters. 

But the thing that called her particularly to mind this morning was a similarity to another obese person of whom we know, and who also loves to sneer at those she wants to consider inferior to her -- "inferior" DESPITE THE FACT THAT THEY'VE CONQUERED THEIR WEIGHT ISSUES, BECOME HEALTHY, AND HAVE SIGNIFICANTLY MORE WORLDLY SUCCESS. 

These people DESPERATELY need to feel good about themselves, as we all do.  The problem is, their means of doing so lies not in saying "I have estimable qualities" but by saying "YOU are a LESSER person than I."  Now, my friend HAS estimable qualities -- she has outstanding talent in a variety of fields!  ONLY the fact that society treats overweight people badly causes her to focus on that one negative, and not on the many positives!  It dims and skews her perception of EVERYTHING in life.  She simply does not see straight, with balance and sense of proportion.

Comparing ourselves to others, instead of looking at ourselves in isolation, is productive of nothing but misery.  If someone out there has defeated the demon which is still plaguing us, what is the rational thing to do?  Whine, that they're luckier?  Hate them for having a quality that we don't?  Or maybe, studying their method, and see if it's something that might work for us too, even though we may have to do a little sacrificing?

CS's unbounded venom against carbohydrate-reduction advocates is nothing but a measure of her own pain.  She strikes out to distract herself, to keep from looking within, and her self-delusion is her armor.  She has NEVER debunked ANYTHING despite her claims, nor is anyone jealous or afraid of her.  People dread her certainly -- just like we dread the approach of every unpleasant person we know.  They spoil the mood of every happy get-together ... because they don't know how to behave so as to receive positive attention, and they can't stand to see others GETTING that kind of attention or having a good time while they're NOT. 

Funny -- my friend always used to claim that people were jealous of her, too.  On what basis they were supposed to be jealous was the unanswered question.

16 comments:

  1. "Concepts are fine, but if you can't get the right answer, you're no use to anyone." -Joe Cullen, my thermodynamics instructor

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  2. Re: worldly success. The Stay Fat Now, Ask Me How Plan: 1) Sell no product. 2) Sell no plan. 3) Offer no success stories. 4) Be an iconoclast without charisma. 5) Get yourself banned from popular sites. 6) Hold out the begging bowl.

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    1. I was very ambivalent about using that "worldly success" idea -- I mean, the world DOES reward some first-class assholes, and some fabulously great people are not what the world would call "successes". ... but how else shall we describe those who do good and do well, and are widely loved and admired? [shrug] your points are well made, as usual!

      your instructor GETS IT! :-)

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  3. Hi Tess

    You summed up Evie perfectly, we should pity her, but she has launched such poison, at so many, I can only detest her. How many left her blog thinking ‘that’s a good idea or recipe’ I will try that ? How many people have been encouraged to a sound way to improve their health or lose weight ? where is the humour and humility ? where is there any hope ? None whatsoever, one long scream of pain from a person that has clearly missed out on life, I don’t see an ounce of compassion or love. It’s hate, post after post, with no interest in helping or encouraging others full stop.

    Meanwhile she masquerades under various names heaping praise upon herself, encouraged by known morons. A very sad state affairs indeed. I suspect it will ever be thus.

    Kind regards Eddie

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    1. I was actually contemplating going back to Wooo's blog, where she's been defending herself against the LIES, and removing my criticisms of CS but decided not to -- I spoke nothing but what I believe to be true! As you say, it would be easy to exhibit more compassion (because I honestly feel sorry for her), but for her obsessive VITRIOL against people with a lot more character than she has, who actually do some good in the world.

      I don't think it does any good for us to confront her and her sycophants with their deceptions -- they're not reasonable people. But it's hard for me to remain silent when faultily-human-but-decent people like Wooo and Jimmy are unjustly insulted. Jimmy blows it off, but Wooo is obviously bothered.... I just don't pay attention to her; I don't engage with her, her sock-puppets or her stooges, though they try to goad me into it.

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    2. Hi Tess

      We are all nutters in one way or another, all of us have frailties and weaknesses. For me nutters fall roughly into two types. Harmless and dangerous, those with something to say to help and encourage, and those who are destructive. Those that want to improve someone's life, and those totally motivated by self aggrandisement.

      Carbsane is not a fool or stupid, she could have set up a blog that could have helped many, who has been helped ? No one that I can see. Her blog is a skid row for the bitter and twisted, the disenfranchised and lifes unfortunates.

      Have a great weekend.

      Eddie

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    3. you're so right, Eddie.... I hope you and Jan have a lovely weekend, too!

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    4. I started my talking on the internet with people on bloggs with commenting on the bogg of Gary Taubes, and it happened my first internet aquintansess were Nigel and Evelyn. More so, I was arguing with them that calories were not important on a LC diet (my experience was such at that time, and now I think differently, like it is possible to gain weight while LCarbing, especially for the people in a weight reduced state ) . I see Evelyn as a female who is close to me by age and who is in a more challenging position than me from a metabolical point of view. If I could help her to resolve her weight issues I would. Since she was basically my first internet friend, l would feel very uncomphortable saying something what may hurt her emotionally. I can't see her differently than a straggling person.
      I used to go to her bogg, but at some point I started to feel l didn't fit mostly because too many people who go there do so in order to vent out their opinion how stupid LCarbing is. My opinion is different, I am not in the situation searching what else to try , what I am doing diet-wise is working for me, and reading about how great others feel eating oatmeal or sweet potatoes doesn't add anything to what I know already - not everybody needs to be in ketosis. For example, Nige is fine on 100 grams of carbs daily while weightlifting.

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    5. There are LOTS of blogs where ... I simply don't go. No comment to make, thank you very much, i'll just pass. :-) But there are others which are nothing but bastions of deceit, and CS seems to run one of those.

      They exist for no other purpose than to bolster egos. People make extravagant claims which are easy to prove false. After that, you can't believe a single thing ANYONE there tells you.

      I used to be concerned that newbies and other unknowledgeable people would be deceived by the bad advice and damage themselves further, but considering how ordinary and common the advice of CICO advocates actually IS, it's no worse than what people hear every day in popular magazines! [shrug] Caveat emptor!

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  4. "...she told me her brother said there were kidney problems in the family and none of them (all at least overweight and some grossly obese) should ever try low-carb." It sounds like they're also diabetic, in which case a LC diet is exactly the thing they should try.

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  5. if I remember correctly, my friend had a touch of gestational diabetes with her second child, but it resolved afterward.

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    1. No, i'm convinced she'd do very well on a LC diet, she just didn't want to. And people who don't want to eat Real Food aren't likely ever to have success with weight control and health improvement. They believe in the medical industry and the magic of pharmaceuticals....

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  6. I am in Russia right now for my scheduled visit, probably, I would be commenting less while I am here.

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    1. we'll miss you! have a great time!

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  7. Ouch. Carbs are really addictive in the sense that they do induce real physiological changes in the body&brain that makes one want to eat moaaaaaaaar. I cringed at hearing your friend's story because it was also difficult for me to wrap my mind around Atkins when I first hear of it. The only reason I don't touch carbs with a ten feet pole now is because I remember how bad I feel after eating them. Some people are still trapped in that "rush". :(

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    1. Those of us who have tried a million ways to lose weight have also gotten suspicious. :-) I believed the low-fat bullshit once upon a time! Fool me once, shame on you -- fool me twice.... But if the diet advice you get is the diet advice you DON'T WANT TO HEAR it makes it really easy to ignore. I'm convinced that Weight Watchers is so popular because they never tell you that you should stop eating junk -- they just say "moderate" like all the obesity-resistant people in the world. Those of us who gain easily and lose with difficulty KNOW this is bullshit ... but it's very seductive.

      And though we tend to lose our taste for what we used to enjoy, when we've been eating Real Food for awhile, there's NO ARGUMENT that human beings are wired to enjoy sweet things and starchy things. It's only those of us who experience significant discomfort when we eat the wrong foods, who muster the resolve to omit them from our lives.

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