The outstanding St. Louis art museum just opened a new wing, which we had a chance to explore on Wednesday (and OF COURSE we tried the new restaurant...). The whole place is so huge and labyrinthine, there are still areas to which i've never made my way! On every visit i TRY to blaze trails to the far corners, but frequently end up visiting favorite areas at the expense of the unexplored.
As i stood marveling at the rich teal glaze on an ancient bowl from the Far East, i began to think about the trade-offs of "civilization." The gorgeous shapes and colors all around me -- the patterns brushed and incised on dozens of different materials -- were the products of GOK how many years of how many brilliant and talented hands and minds. Only specialization, concentration of resources, undisturbed handing-down of esoteric knowledge can bestow this kind of benefit on society.
Art IS a benefit. Feasting my eyes on all that beauty, i DID feel "fed" at some soul-level. I reveled in the peace, contentment, harmony that traditional art tends to bestow. (There was more of mental excitement and intellectual involvement in the modern galleries, but that's a whole 'nother subject.) No, the rooms full of cases of ceramics, beautiful pictures and graceful artifacts of daily living were about enriching the surroundings of human beings whose lucky positions in the world allowed them the leisure to appreciate them.
Centuries ... millenia ago ... the nasty serf-whipping classes dribbled some of their ill-gained riches into the hands of artists, who long after their deaths are still giving delight and awe to anyone who takes the time to wander into an admission-free public gallery, and stand in front of these works, and merely gaze.
Art exists in primitive societies, too, but not at this level; nomads can't set up workshops of the kind required to produce what i saw the other day. Experimentation with minerals and plant matter is likely to get interrupted by the need to follow the antelope herd or flee approaching winter. Among hunters, the flint-knapper and fletcher are probably the crafters most valued, and the potter who makes a solid product which resists breakage is a better contributor than one who puts the prettiest pattern on its surface....
So is it worth the trade-off? The grain-based civilizations which allowed for that pale-celadon bowl (with the painted phoenixes cavorting about under its glaze) to be produced are responsible for some pretty nasty effects through the last few millennia. Inquisitions and pogroms, crusades, slave- and rape-cultures, child-labor sweatshops ... there are plenty of bad things that happen in a world where people compete for wealth. There are also literature and libraries, cuisines, theatre, the kind of music which cannot be performed on a pan-flute, and all those decorative arts on display in that big building in Forest Park. The graceful little phial some Egyptian lady kept her perfumed oil in, the delicately-tinted bowl that sat on a table in Korea a thousand years ago, the imposing marble statue which originally adorned a temple in the Hellenic world, the memorial from the grave of a much-beloved and long-forgotten beauty -- i don't know how to BEGIN to measure the gains and losses that "civilization" has brought.
Showing posts with label joy vs misery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label joy vs misery. Show all posts
Saturday, July 6, 2013
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
repeat a lie often enough
Once bullshit finds favor with those media writers and producers who HAVE TO FILL columns or airtime EVERY SINGLE TEDIOUS DAY, you end up with avalanches of bullshit which eventually clog drainoff and drown the actual story....
Over and OVER and O-O-O-V-E-R-R-R, we hear the same old stories about meat and fat being bad for you and fruitsandvegetables and healthywholegrains being good. One wants to run screaming into the night. Yet another of Mark's columns is devoted to reassuring a reader who is being bombarded by enemies and relations with the untruth. Yet another of Tom's articles is devoted to trying to unclog the bullshit-drain.
Those of us who have improved our health through clean eating, whether it be paleo or low-carb or a mixture of the two, would LOVE to help the struggling people we see all around us! We hate to see loved ones who are in pain or taking medications that don't help and come with their own burden of unwellness, KNOWING that a few MINOR INCONVENIENCES (ie not living on wheat and sugar) might make them feel immeasurably better. In the glow of our satisfaction we try to "share the good news" only to be refuted by the CW and advanced nutritional wisdom as learned through television commercials.
And out comes another spewage of BS that reinforces Kellogg's position!!! ... Yeah, right. Ya know, in "celebration" of this Mercury Retrograde, i'm inclined to say "LET 'EM EAT CAKE" ... or pasta, or whole-grain subway sandwiches or whatever the hell they want. Let 'em cut calories till they're miserable and sick and fatter than ever. Let 'em convince themselves that my diet is gonna kill me, no matter how much better (than they) i look and feel. I've put the information out there, and if they choose to ignore it then i'll say (with Reverend Johnson) "son, you're on your own."
So as each "new study" comes out with the same old bullshit, i'm just going to smile cattily and order another Proud Mary burger (two 8-oz-before-cooking patties with cheese and bacon), hold the bun, with a glass of the house cabernet. That plus coffee is enough food to hold me for a whole day. Let my MIL eat nothing but sugar for breakfast. Let Dr. Joe Blow scarf down pie at midnight, and say that his obesity is due to his newly-discovered hypothyroidism. Let others say "everything in moderation" but it must be bad genes that cause cancer. New version of tough-love: it goes along with my long-ago-adopted anti-nagging policy -- i'll tell you once, and remind you once, but beyond that it's not MY problem.
The current MR will be over in about four more days, which pleases me immensely -- my internet connection improves when Mercury is direct. I can't hope that the misinformation will go away ... but i also won't accept responsibility for helping to muck out the drains.
Over and OVER and O-O-O-V-E-R-R-R, we hear the same old stories about meat and fat being bad for you and fruitsandvegetables and healthywholegrains being good. One wants to run screaming into the night. Yet another of Mark's columns is devoted to reassuring a reader who is being bombarded by enemies and relations with the untruth. Yet another of Tom's articles is devoted to trying to unclog the bullshit-drain.
Those of us who have improved our health through clean eating, whether it be paleo or low-carb or a mixture of the two, would LOVE to help the struggling people we see all around us! We hate to see loved ones who are in pain or taking medications that don't help and come with their own burden of unwellness, KNOWING that a few MINOR INCONVENIENCES (ie not living on wheat and sugar) might make them feel immeasurably better. In the glow of our satisfaction we try to "share the good news" only to be refuted by the CW and advanced nutritional wisdom as learned through television commercials.
And out comes another spewage of BS that reinforces Kellogg's position!!! ... Yeah, right. Ya know, in "celebration" of this Mercury Retrograde, i'm inclined to say "LET 'EM EAT CAKE" ... or pasta, or whole-grain subway sandwiches or whatever the hell they want. Let 'em cut calories till they're miserable and sick and fatter than ever. Let 'em convince themselves that my diet is gonna kill me, no matter how much better (than they) i look and feel. I've put the information out there, and if they choose to ignore it then i'll say (with Reverend Johnson) "son, you're on your own."
So as each "new study" comes out with the same old bullshit, i'm just going to smile cattily and order another Proud Mary burger (two 8-oz-before-cooking patties with cheese and bacon), hold the bun, with a glass of the house cabernet. That plus coffee is enough food to hold me for a whole day. Let my MIL eat nothing but sugar for breakfast. Let Dr. Joe Blow scarf down pie at midnight, and say that his obesity is due to his newly-discovered hypothyroidism. Let others say "everything in moderation" but it must be bad genes that cause cancer. New version of tough-love: it goes along with my long-ago-adopted anti-nagging policy -- i'll tell you once, and remind you once, but beyond that it's not MY problem.
The current MR will be over in about four more days, which pleases me immensely -- my internet connection improves when Mercury is direct. I can't hope that the misinformation will go away ... but i also won't accept responsibility for helping to muck out the drains.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
luxury
If i wrote verse these days, i'd probably compose a sonnet about what a delightful day this is! It's cold and snowing lightly, but i'm sitting in my bedroom toasty-warm, in my favorite reading chair sipping a Campari-and-soda, watching the best Poirot to ever play the part (David Suchet) on Netflix.
Generations of our ancestors -- centuries upon centuries -- never knew the security that we have. Most of the poor around us, even, enjoy an immunity to many sorts of catastrophe that's absolutely unprecedented in history. Many people suffer from the poor nutrition that is epidemic in the developed world, but very few actually STARVE. This, again, is remarkable -- though only those of us who are students of every-day history may think of it often.
Do most people realize how extremely fortunate we are? I often wonder. I have relatives and acquaintances who do nothing but grouse about stupid, petty little grievances. So-and-so doesn't live the way i want them to! Their styles are so unlike my ideal! Even my child can see what's wrong with your world-view! I can't seem to lose that last five pounds! I can't eat my favorite dish because it gives me a belly-ache! We mustn't regulate that industry, because it will cost them more to operate and they might reduce their workforce and their stock might be worth less! Ad nauseum....
Learn to count your blessings and worry less about what your neighbor thinks. The tribe on the other side of the hill is VERY unlikely to be about to invade your village.
Generations of our ancestors -- centuries upon centuries -- never knew the security that we have. Most of the poor around us, even, enjoy an immunity to many sorts of catastrophe that's absolutely unprecedented in history. Many people suffer from the poor nutrition that is epidemic in the developed world, but very few actually STARVE. This, again, is remarkable -- though only those of us who are students of every-day history may think of it often.
Do most people realize how extremely fortunate we are? I often wonder. I have relatives and acquaintances who do nothing but grouse about stupid, petty little grievances. So-and-so doesn't live the way i want them to! Their styles are so unlike my ideal! Even my child can see what's wrong with your world-view! I can't seem to lose that last five pounds! I can't eat my favorite dish because it gives me a belly-ache! We mustn't regulate that industry, because it will cost them more to operate and they might reduce their workforce and their stock might be worth less! Ad nauseum....
Learn to count your blessings and worry less about what your neighbor thinks. The tribe on the other side of the hill is VERY unlikely to be about to invade your village.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
potty mouth
The scale is down a LITTLE from yesterday, but more progress is to come. Right now, i'm here to talk shit about vegetables!
;-)
Just like with the Salad of Doom a few months ago, the increased "good" vegetable fiber i had over the last week is STILL making me feel weighted-down. The paleo world is inclined to damn the insoluble fiber from grains -- it's like taking a wood-rasp to your villi, they say -- but to praise in very CW-like fashion the soluble stuff in fruits and vegetables. My colon begs to differ.
Just like Donaldson said, when i'm eating a diet of meat and fat i don't have a retention problem -- my gastrointestinal system is like a greased chute. I would be tempted to say that it IS a greased chute, except for the fact the fats are ABSORBED, not just sent straight through. But although i'm eating my usual healthy quantity of nutritious satfats and omega-3s, they're not able to do ONE of their jobs ... because of the interference of the foods that Mark claims should be the major part of my diet.
If i ate "mostly plants" as ALMOST EVERYONE says, i'd be utterly miserable. There's no excuse for needing additions of magnesium or probiotics or such aids to push out the waste-products! Thank god i finished the soup last night, which was merely flavored with a small quantity of carrots, onions, celery and mushrooms -- today will be solid meat, fat and coffee, just what has a track-record of making me feel good!
;-)
Just like with the Salad of Doom a few months ago, the increased "good" vegetable fiber i had over the last week is STILL making me feel weighted-down. The paleo world is inclined to damn the insoluble fiber from grains -- it's like taking a wood-rasp to your villi, they say -- but to praise in very CW-like fashion the soluble stuff in fruits and vegetables. My colon begs to differ.
Just like Donaldson said, when i'm eating a diet of meat and fat i don't have a retention problem -- my gastrointestinal system is like a greased chute. I would be tempted to say that it IS a greased chute, except for the fact the fats are ABSORBED, not just sent straight through. But although i'm eating my usual healthy quantity of nutritious satfats and omega-3s, they're not able to do ONE of their jobs ... because of the interference of the foods that Mark claims should be the major part of my diet.
If i ate "mostly plants" as ALMOST EVERYONE says, i'd be utterly miserable. There's no excuse for needing additions of magnesium or probiotics or such aids to push out the waste-products! Thank god i finished the soup last night, which was merely flavored with a small quantity of carrots, onions, celery and mushrooms -- today will be solid meat, fat and coffee, just what has a track-record of making me feel good!
Sunday, June 3, 2012
the glamour of the unknown
I almost wrote a post about the "problem" of advertising influencing children, the availability of proscribed substances to them (AND to adults), and the place of the parents in all this brouhaha.... It's hard to discourage the immature mind from pursuing deleterious substances and behaviors, especially when they may be looked on as something of a rite-of-passage into an autonomous style of existence. The young long for adulthood, because they see all of these shiny "toys" they aren't allowed to play with (yet), and suppose that attainment will mean happiness ... or at least a less limited life.
We seem to be hard-wired to want to push boundaries, even into the realm of ugliness and degradation. The bad boy/girl is an attractive image in our culture -- someone who breaks free and goes after what they want, no matter who gets trampled in the rush. I believe the appeal lies in novelty, escaping routines and seeing enticing possibilities. In actual experience, after the initial excitement is past, new routines will assert themselves and the limitations will be just as great as before. It may be "different" but it can also be mighty uncomfortable.
When we grow up, all of the "toys" become less of a joy and more of a responsibility. Now that we are allowed to stay up as late as we want, eat and drink what we will, buy anything we can afford -- essentially, do whatever we please -- we learn to see the downside, and why limiting our pleasures increases our enjoyment of them. The grass IS green ... but there's a bunch of dandelions in it, and it needs mowing regularly. We can shirk the responsibilities that come our way, but there are repercussions ... some of them nasty.
We see the hypnotic effect of this "glamour of the unknown" VERY often in living history. A huge number of people are enamoured of the past; i'm very curious about how they think their personal lives would really be different, had they been born 100, 200, 500 years before. DETAILS would be different, but you get up in the morning, do your allotment of work, interact with your family, eat, sleep and wear clothing, don't get everything you want, have experiences you'd rather avoid, and get your heart broken just the same as nowadays. Without internet. New reenactors dash out and get fancy clothes and equipment, but the ladies lace their corsets less tightly with every passing year....
This may be the reason why a good fantasy never goes out of style: being "impossible" to experience, the bloom can never be lost from it. But it isn't just the fancy trappings that create the appeal of those "far-away places with strange-sounding names" -- is a palm tree better than an oak, a rum cocktail better than a glass of wine, 100-degree heat better than 20-degree chill? What we really want when we make a cultural escape is to start over, and maybe get it right this time. We carry our problems with us, though -- inside our heads and hearts. A different locale, more toys, prettier clothes, A THINNER BODY, etc. is not going to improve things a bit without a mental adjustment as well.
Wanting things we don't have, because an advertiser convinces us to think THINGS will make us happy, is a cycle of frustration. This includes "things" like vacations, taste experiences, new lovers, almost anything! Thumb your nose at them, and teach your kids to do the same.
We seem to be hard-wired to want to push boundaries, even into the realm of ugliness and degradation. The bad boy/girl is an attractive image in our culture -- someone who breaks free and goes after what they want, no matter who gets trampled in the rush. I believe the appeal lies in novelty, escaping routines and seeing enticing possibilities. In actual experience, after the initial excitement is past, new routines will assert themselves and the limitations will be just as great as before. It may be "different" but it can also be mighty uncomfortable.
When we grow up, all of the "toys" become less of a joy and more of a responsibility. Now that we are allowed to stay up as late as we want, eat and drink what we will, buy anything we can afford -- essentially, do whatever we please -- we learn to see the downside, and why limiting our pleasures increases our enjoyment of them. The grass IS green ... but there's a bunch of dandelions in it, and it needs mowing regularly. We can shirk the responsibilities that come our way, but there are repercussions ... some of them nasty.
We see the hypnotic effect of this "glamour of the unknown" VERY often in living history. A huge number of people are enamoured of the past; i'm very curious about how they think their personal lives would really be different, had they been born 100, 200, 500 years before. DETAILS would be different, but you get up in the morning, do your allotment of work, interact with your family, eat, sleep and wear clothing, don't get everything you want, have experiences you'd rather avoid, and get your heart broken just the same as nowadays. Without internet. New reenactors dash out and get fancy clothes and equipment, but the ladies lace their corsets less tightly with every passing year....
This may be the reason why a good fantasy never goes out of style: being "impossible" to experience, the bloom can never be lost from it. But it isn't just the fancy trappings that create the appeal of those "far-away places with strange-sounding names" -- is a palm tree better than an oak, a rum cocktail better than a glass of wine, 100-degree heat better than 20-degree chill? What we really want when we make a cultural escape is to start over, and maybe get it right this time. We carry our problems with us, though -- inside our heads and hearts. A different locale, more toys, prettier clothes, A THINNER BODY, etc. is not going to improve things a bit without a mental adjustment as well.
Wanting things we don't have, because an advertiser convinces us to think THINGS will make us happy, is a cycle of frustration. This includes "things" like vacations, taste experiences, new lovers, almost anything! Thumb your nose at them, and teach your kids to do the same.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
the power of good news and positive attitude
I was "bad" yesterday. It didn't start out that way, but i worked my way down from black coffee for breakfast, to sushi for lunch ... to cocktails and red-beans-and-rice with my oysters and "alligator eggs" (bacon-wrapped scallops) for dinner at the Swamp Shack. This morning i'm hungry. :-(
So, of course, i felt emotionally as well as physically uncomfortable ... but i'm better now. In my emailbox there were a few cheerful items, and ditto on facebook. I've had several cordial communications there as well.
I'm a big fan of pronoia -- Rob Brezsny's work has been inspirational to me. It has encouraged me to do things like ... avoid reading blogs that are full of unpleasant, misleading and ill-natured raving*. ;-)
As Brezsny points out, the news media can be "addictive" as well as depressing; they seem to think that people WANT to hear the worst. Is it because people with difficulties like to know that others can have more troubles, misery loving company? Intentionally stirring up bad feeling, in my humble opinion, is despicable. Not that the "ignorance is bliss" attitude is WISE, but one needs to sort of keep the world at arm's-length so as not to be overwhelmed by it....
A relative i will not mention (now departed) used to become easily irritated -- tell me, how could that help him, or anyone else for that matter? What good can one possibly get from becoming annoyed by little things? Is it not a lot more intelligent to shrug off the dumb little things that happen around one, and maintain aplomb under the influence of things one cannot help (like traffic)?
Aggravations will happen. I think we can expect them to be as inevitable as death and taxes. Does it make us feel better to let them bother us, though, or does it make us feel worse?
______
* a little rant can be relieving to one's frustrated feelings, but i believe in limits.... ;-)
So, of course, i felt emotionally as well as physically uncomfortable ... but i'm better now. In my emailbox there were a few cheerful items, and ditto on facebook. I've had several cordial communications there as well.
I'm a big fan of pronoia -- Rob Brezsny's work has been inspirational to me. It has encouraged me to do things like ... avoid reading blogs that are full of unpleasant, misleading and ill-natured raving*. ;-)
As Brezsny points out, the news media can be "addictive" as well as depressing; they seem to think that people WANT to hear the worst. Is it because people with difficulties like to know that others can have more troubles, misery loving company? Intentionally stirring up bad feeling, in my humble opinion, is despicable. Not that the "ignorance is bliss" attitude is WISE, but one needs to sort of keep the world at arm's-length so as not to be overwhelmed by it....
A relative i will not mention (now departed) used to become easily irritated -- tell me, how could that help him, or anyone else for that matter? What good can one possibly get from becoming annoyed by little things? Is it not a lot more intelligent to shrug off the dumb little things that happen around one, and maintain aplomb under the influence of things one cannot help (like traffic)?
Aggravations will happen. I think we can expect them to be as inevitable as death and taxes. Does it make us feel better to let them bother us, though, or does it make us feel worse?
______
* a little rant can be relieving to one's frustrated feelings, but i believe in limits.... ;-)
Sunday, March 18, 2012
time for a little more "woo"
I'm occasionally troubled by the attitudes of "friends" on Facebook. Some get very wrapped up in one or another group ideology, and seem to lose their humaneness. Others seem to feel privileged to rebuke complete strangers for being too sensitive about some very loaded subjects. There are those who can't be happy, and must always have something to complain about, however small. Then there's the ... never mind, you get the point.
Is it the anonymity of the internet which encourages people to express themselves in ways they wouldn't dream of, face to face? Is this the "real person" behind the facade they present to the everyday world? Are some displacing rage they actually feel in a different direction, toward targets unable to effectually give them the response they might otherwise expect? Or is it self-hate to which they are reacting, trying to justify their choices, to themselves, by making virtues of either vices or plain necessity?
In whatever case, i pray for something which i really have no hope of seeing -- that they would all take a quiet hour and examine their hearts.
A young man i know complains of his bad karma. It's no wonder -- bad karma it truly is, and all of his own creation. Whether religiously-inclined or not, most of the people i know believe in some kind of repercussion from their behavior, be it heaven/hell, the self-approbation/condemnation of a rational humanist, good results in the Judgement Hall of Osiris -- whatever. Myself, i believe in both lifetime and afterlife rewards.
I believe that emanating hatred earns you hatred, and hostility, hostility. You know, the old "as you sow, so shall you reap" thing. A little understanding and compassion toward others goes a long way. "Judge not, lest ye be judged," and "forgive us commensurately with how we forgive others"....
Conversely to what disheartens me on some social websites and forums, i also see much good ... and more is possible. Goodwill is just as contagious as nastiness. As long as i'm in a quoting mood, there's this one: "Smile! it'll make everyone wonder what you're up to" -- remember that? :-) Smiling is contagious. I even read once that the physical act has a mental response, in increased cheerfulness, and it seems to bear out in practice.
Do YOURSELF a favor, and cultivate cheerfulness and compassion -- it pays more than you might expect.
Is it the anonymity of the internet which encourages people to express themselves in ways they wouldn't dream of, face to face? Is this the "real person" behind the facade they present to the everyday world? Are some displacing rage they actually feel in a different direction, toward targets unable to effectually give them the response they might otherwise expect? Or is it self-hate to which they are reacting, trying to justify their choices, to themselves, by making virtues of either vices or plain necessity?
In whatever case, i pray for something which i really have no hope of seeing -- that they would all take a quiet hour and examine their hearts.
A young man i know complains of his bad karma. It's no wonder -- bad karma it truly is, and all of his own creation. Whether religiously-inclined or not, most of the people i know believe in some kind of repercussion from their behavior, be it heaven/hell, the self-approbation/condemnation of a rational humanist, good results in the Judgement Hall of Osiris -- whatever. Myself, i believe in both lifetime and afterlife rewards.
I believe that emanating hatred earns you hatred, and hostility, hostility. You know, the old "as you sow, so shall you reap" thing. A little understanding and compassion toward others goes a long way. "Judge not, lest ye be judged," and "forgive us commensurately with how we forgive others"....
Conversely to what disheartens me on some social websites and forums, i also see much good ... and more is possible. Goodwill is just as contagious as nastiness. As long as i'm in a quoting mood, there's this one: "Smile! it'll make everyone wonder what you're up to" -- remember that? :-) Smiling is contagious. I even read once that the physical act has a mental response, in increased cheerfulness, and it seems to bear out in practice.
Do YOURSELF a favor, and cultivate cheerfulness and compassion -- it pays more than you might expect.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
happy St. Valentine's day!
...or not, as the case may be....
Back at the time of the Chinese New Year, i posted of my enthusiasm for celebrating all sorts of holidays. This one, on the other hand, is one which i rather wish could evaporate into the aether.
It's a "loaded" day, and i strongly suspect that very few really enjoy it. For a lot of people it's bound to be "Christmas revisited" -- WHAT to get one's best-loved-one that will be appreciated and not break the bank (the winter holiday bills not forgotten, and tax-time just around the corner...). For the single, it's got to be even harder: choosing a gift which is not indicative of too much affection, nor too little. My sympathies are most strong for children at those appalling school parties -- if you're not among the popular crowd, you HATE reminders of how little you're regarded by your contemporaries!
It's tempting to point the finger at modern entertainment media, for deleterious and unrealistic visions and expectations. One of my most-despised films is "The Truth About Cats and Dogs." It's got an amusing variation of the Cyrano story going on (anytime you add animals, you add charm), but the message of the movie itself is highly disturbing: if Janeane Garofalo is too "ugly" to be a possible recipient of affection, how must REALLY homely girls feel while watching this movie???!! My husband, in fact, finds her MUCH more attractive than Uma Thurman....
Unfortunately, classic literature is full of "bad" love stories, too. One of my favorite "discouraging" books is Charlotte Bronte's "Shirley": published in 1849 (and written during the time her siblings were dying right and left), it was set during one of the worst economic times in recent British history, 1810-11. Both of the heroines are having romantic troubles; one, who is beautiful and sweet and "perfect" cannot get together with the man she loves (and who apparently loves her too) because she has no fortune and he desperately needs money for noble purposes; the other, also very attractive but charmingly-flawed and rich, cannot get her man because he's poor, humble and proud, though totally crazy about her. Bronte writes movingly about women's positions in such times and situations -- "Shirley" isn't her best book, but i recommend it wholeheartedly.
Then there are the poisonous stories that so many find romantic, like "Wuthering Heights".... Heathcliff and Cathy were a pair of unevolved, selfish asshats who SHOULD have ended up with one another -- so as not to ruin anyone else's lives! "Gone With the Wind" is not much better. I (and some other friends -- hello, Jules!) absolutely DEPLORE whoever first wrote about the glorification of the "bad boy" and all the STUPID women who want to "fix" them. This moronic trend got a new lease on its bad life in 1950s films.
Even in comedy.... We just re-watched "Shrek" the other night -- entertaining fantasy for adults as well as children! -- but it wasn't the movie itself that i'm referring to. Oh, NO, it's a cartoon, for heaven's sake -- one isn't supposed to find it a rational guide to life. It's that brain-dead song, "I Need a Hero." :-P THINK ABOUT IT! In modern society, the qualities which make a great classic HERO (warrior) are not going to result in anything but trouble. "Heroes" in this sense make appalling husbands and fathers. And yet, silly young girls still want their knight.... BAD CHOICE!!! Short of the zombie apocalypse, he'll be a millstone rather than a benefit -- and there IS no zombie apocalypse, kids -- that's FICTION!!!
<sigh>
Everyone wants love, but the kind that's promoted in this season is a phantom seducer. It's exciting in theory, but it has a bitter aftertaste and it can't last. The more people go hunting for it, the more it will elude them, because a truly desirable partner isn't needy in that fashion -- needy partners can be a nightmare! The best thing everyone can do is cultivate self-esteem and universal benevolence, love your TRUE FRIENDS, appreciate the ones who care for you, and practice tough-love on the ones who would take advantage of your good nature without reciprocating in kind.
Loving oneself is NOT selfish; looking out for oneself is a serious responsibility.
p.s. -- for the record, i have a husband who IS a friend and a blessing, affectionate, responsible and mostly considerate. ;-) he only drives me crazy some of the time.
Back at the time of the Chinese New Year, i posted of my enthusiasm for celebrating all sorts of holidays. This one, on the other hand, is one which i rather wish could evaporate into the aether.
It's a "loaded" day, and i strongly suspect that very few really enjoy it. For a lot of people it's bound to be "Christmas revisited" -- WHAT to get one's best-loved-one that will be appreciated and not break the bank (the winter holiday bills not forgotten, and tax-time just around the corner...). For the single, it's got to be even harder: choosing a gift which is not indicative of too much affection, nor too little. My sympathies are most strong for children at those appalling school parties -- if you're not among the popular crowd, you HATE reminders of how little you're regarded by your contemporaries!
It's tempting to point the finger at modern entertainment media, for deleterious and unrealistic visions and expectations. One of my most-despised films is "The Truth About Cats and Dogs." It's got an amusing variation of the Cyrano story going on (anytime you add animals, you add charm), but the message of the movie itself is highly disturbing: if Janeane Garofalo is too "ugly" to be a possible recipient of affection, how must REALLY homely girls feel while watching this movie???!! My husband, in fact, finds her MUCH more attractive than Uma Thurman....
Unfortunately, classic literature is full of "bad" love stories, too. One of my favorite "discouraging" books is Charlotte Bronte's "Shirley": published in 1849 (and written during the time her siblings were dying right and left), it was set during one of the worst economic times in recent British history, 1810-11. Both of the heroines are having romantic troubles; one, who is beautiful and sweet and "perfect" cannot get together with the man she loves (and who apparently loves her too) because she has no fortune and he desperately needs money for noble purposes; the other, also very attractive but charmingly-flawed and rich, cannot get her man because he's poor, humble and proud, though totally crazy about her. Bronte writes movingly about women's positions in such times and situations -- "Shirley" isn't her best book, but i recommend it wholeheartedly.
Then there are the poisonous stories that so many find romantic, like "Wuthering Heights".... Heathcliff and Cathy were a pair of unevolved, selfish asshats who SHOULD have ended up with one another -- so as not to ruin anyone else's lives! "Gone With the Wind" is not much better. I (and some other friends -- hello, Jules!) absolutely DEPLORE whoever first wrote about the glorification of the "bad boy" and all the STUPID women who want to "fix" them. This moronic trend got a new lease on its bad life in 1950s films.
Even in comedy.... We just re-watched "Shrek" the other night -- entertaining fantasy for adults as well as children! -- but it wasn't the movie itself that i'm referring to. Oh, NO, it's a cartoon, for heaven's sake -- one isn't supposed to find it a rational guide to life. It's that brain-dead song, "I Need a Hero." :-P THINK ABOUT IT! In modern society, the qualities which make a great classic HERO (warrior) are not going to result in anything but trouble. "Heroes" in this sense make appalling husbands and fathers. And yet, silly young girls still want their knight.... BAD CHOICE!!! Short of the zombie apocalypse, he'll be a millstone rather than a benefit -- and there IS no zombie apocalypse, kids -- that's FICTION!!!
<sigh>
Everyone wants love, but the kind that's promoted in this season is a phantom seducer. It's exciting in theory, but it has a bitter aftertaste and it can't last. The more people go hunting for it, the more it will elude them, because a truly desirable partner isn't needy in that fashion -- needy partners can be a nightmare! The best thing everyone can do is cultivate self-esteem and universal benevolence, love your TRUE FRIENDS, appreciate the ones who care for you, and practice tough-love on the ones who would take advantage of your good nature without reciprocating in kind.
Loving oneself is NOT selfish; looking out for oneself is a serious responsibility.
p.s. -- for the record, i have a husband who IS a friend and a blessing, affectionate, responsible and mostly considerate. ;-) he only drives me crazy some of the time.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
celebrate
I love the Old Farmer's Almanac; i used to run out and buy it every fall when the new issue went on the news-stands, but in our wonderful* electronic age i can access its information with less trouble and clutter**. I also get their e-newsletter informing me of upcoming holidays, gardening advice, and recipe suggestions (largely useless for a low-carb "paleoid" like me).
OOOH! am i responsible for coining a definitive term? More excitement! ;-)
The newsletter i received yesterday reminded me that this coming Monday is Chinese New Year; in their words: "The new year is by far the most important festival of the Chinese lunar calendar. It is celebrated on the second new Moon after the winter solstice. The holiday is a time of renewal, with debts cleared, new clothes bought, shops and homes decorated, and families gathered for a reunion dinner. Chinese New Year is marked by fireworks, traditional lion dances, gift giving, and special foods."
I firmly believe in celebrating holidays, not least holidays which belong to other belief-systems and cultures. Most people, throughout history and all over the world, tend to celebrate the same basic archetypes, like "light is good" and "starting over gives you a new lease on life." Christmas, Diwali and Channukah (and, without doubt, countless more) are all "light" holidays. Rosh Hashanah (with Yom Kippur coming right before) and the Chinese New Year -- well, you can guess.... "Other people's holidays" give you a chance to realize the idea intrinsic to the holiday, without all the emotional baggage associated with your own.
I'll not be trite and talk about the usual New Year stuff -- i'll concentrate on the celebratory aspect.
Most people need more joy in their lives: it's the antidote to stress. What makes you happy? What do you enjoy DOING? Did you know that exercising in ways you don't like is stress-producing, and thus less effective than something you like? Did you know that exerting will-power in dieting is also stressful?
So FIND some joy! If your old/usual activities are tiresome and no longer exciting, try new things till one "clicks." Maybe you need a challenge. That's why i chose the new activity i did, because i knew it was outside my native skill-set. It makes me move (exercise) in a way that i have to THINK about -- therefore, it isn't mindless and boring, and distracts me from the amount of energy i'm exerting. And my instructor and fellow-students are friendly, supportive, FUN ladies -- the kind of people who don't bring you down.
Monday is the Chinese New Year -- celebrate it! I'm going to buy myself some new clothes, settle (emotional) debts (to myself), and find some traditional dishes that work with my PPC diet options. Too bad i'll have to miss the lion dance....
Happy Year of the Water Dragon, everyone!
*i mean this in the truly literal sense: full of wonders! :-)
**confessing "sins" again -- there are piles of books on most of the horizontal surfaces of my house.
OOOH! am i responsible for coining a definitive term? More excitement! ;-)
The newsletter i received yesterday reminded me that this coming Monday is Chinese New Year; in their words: "The new year is by far the most important festival of the Chinese lunar calendar. It is celebrated on the second new Moon after the winter solstice. The holiday is a time of renewal, with debts cleared, new clothes bought, shops and homes decorated, and families gathered for a reunion dinner. Chinese New Year is marked by fireworks, traditional lion dances, gift giving, and special foods."
I firmly believe in celebrating holidays, not least holidays which belong to other belief-systems and cultures. Most people, throughout history and all over the world, tend to celebrate the same basic archetypes, like "light is good" and "starting over gives you a new lease on life." Christmas, Diwali and Channukah (and, without doubt, countless more) are all "light" holidays. Rosh Hashanah (with Yom Kippur coming right before) and the Chinese New Year -- well, you can guess.... "Other people's holidays" give you a chance to realize the idea intrinsic to the holiday, without all the emotional baggage associated with your own.
I'll not be trite and talk about the usual New Year stuff -- i'll concentrate on the celebratory aspect.
Most people need more joy in their lives: it's the antidote to stress. What makes you happy? What do you enjoy DOING? Did you know that exercising in ways you don't like is stress-producing, and thus less effective than something you like? Did you know that exerting will-power in dieting is also stressful?
So FIND some joy! If your old/usual activities are tiresome and no longer exciting, try new things till one "clicks." Maybe you need a challenge. That's why i chose the new activity i did, because i knew it was outside my native skill-set. It makes me move (exercise) in a way that i have to THINK about -- therefore, it isn't mindless and boring, and distracts me from the amount of energy i'm exerting. And my instructor and fellow-students are friendly, supportive, FUN ladies -- the kind of people who don't bring you down.
Monday is the Chinese New Year -- celebrate it! I'm going to buy myself some new clothes, settle (emotional) debts (to myself), and find some traditional dishes that work with my PPC diet options. Too bad i'll have to miss the lion dance....
Happy Year of the Water Dragon, everyone!
*i mean this in the truly literal sense: full of wonders! :-)
**confessing "sins" again -- there are piles of books on most of the horizontal surfaces of my house.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
more esoterica
Most mornings, i do my reading and then i know exactly what i want to write about -- frequently, a reflection upon the conclusions i've drawn from my experience vs various postings. Today, despite having a list of topics i'd like to write on eventually, i'm less inspired. I'm feeling philosophical rather than tigerish (mentally speaking).
My husband has the television on in another room, and is watching programs of the political/business sort; i can't help but hear snatches of what various people have to say (grrrr). Me, i hate that sort of thing. It brings to clear focus what kind of idiocy is in the world, "leading" us. The only thing i do regularly which is at all analogous to his practice, is reading "news" articles on MSN and other services which i see when logging in and out of email accounts.
"News" pisses me off -- it's so artificial. Instead of important things going on in the world, we hear about entertainment, fifteen-minutes-of-famers, and lifestyle trends. When it comes to the "nightly news" on broadcast television (which i accidentally hear when i'm around my mother for any amount of time), i find that it is presented by "personalities" so vapid, they make my head ache. Their grammar is atrocious, and when they make their idle chatter i am reminded that almost 50% of the world has below-average IQ. ;-)
A number of paleo bloggers and commenters have frankly declared that one of their methods of lowering chronic stress is to unplug from all of this. I don't blame them -- it's tempting to put my fingers in my ears and say "lalalalala" but it concurrently makes me feel uneasy not to know how bad the worst is, in the world in which i live. "Know your enemy."
Then there's facebook: i got so many invitations, a year or two ago, that i started using it. I love being able to keep in touch with friends i had when i lived in different places but the venue encourages a LOT of BS. I've found that a number of people, whom i like "to their faces," are completely unbearable in print. And don't get me started about the games....
I have worked out a few strategies to stay informed and still lower the stress of it all. Seems to me, the best place to read about current events is in a foreign newspaper (London's "The Times" is a good one, as was Mexico City's "The News" when i last accessed it -- it's been awhile). Overseas, journalists are more likely to call a spade a spade in American events, and you will certainly learn more about the rest of the planet.
On the internet front (specifically FB), i block the posts of those who only present sensationalist nonsense. Just say no.
These are toxic people who poison your spirit; they encourage one's worst emotions and reactions, drain one's energy and deplete one's positive feelings like self-confidence, cheerfulness, optimism, JOY. People like this, it would be best just to excise them from one's life like a tumor, but sometimes it's almost impossible to do so. At very least, keep them at arm's-length, emotionally speaking. Don't let them or their message in; don't keep giving them more chances because they'll just wound you again and again. Surround yourself, as best you can, with people and ideas that are uplifting and love-inspiring.
The atmosphere of miserable, hateful, or ill-principled jerks will make you a lesser person, but the proximity of truly good people will improve you -- these characteristics are contagious. Which "bug" would you rather catch?
My husband has the television on in another room, and is watching programs of the political/business sort; i can't help but hear snatches of what various people have to say (grrrr). Me, i hate that sort of thing. It brings to clear focus what kind of idiocy is in the world, "leading" us. The only thing i do regularly which is at all analogous to his practice, is reading "news" articles on MSN and other services which i see when logging in and out of email accounts.
"News" pisses me off -- it's so artificial. Instead of important things going on in the world, we hear about entertainment, fifteen-minutes-of-famers, and lifestyle trends. When it comes to the "nightly news" on broadcast television (which i accidentally hear when i'm around my mother for any amount of time), i find that it is presented by "personalities" so vapid, they make my head ache. Their grammar is atrocious, and when they make their idle chatter i am reminded that almost 50% of the world has below-average IQ. ;-)
A number of paleo bloggers and commenters have frankly declared that one of their methods of lowering chronic stress is to unplug from all of this. I don't blame them -- it's tempting to put my fingers in my ears and say "lalalalala" but it concurrently makes me feel uneasy not to know how bad the worst is, in the world in which i live. "Know your enemy."
Then there's facebook: i got so many invitations, a year or two ago, that i started using it. I love being able to keep in touch with friends i had when i lived in different places but the venue encourages a LOT of BS. I've found that a number of people, whom i like "to their faces," are completely unbearable in print. And don't get me started about the games....
I have worked out a few strategies to stay informed and still lower the stress of it all. Seems to me, the best place to read about current events is in a foreign newspaper (London's "The Times" is a good one, as was Mexico City's "The News" when i last accessed it -- it's been awhile). Overseas, journalists are more likely to call a spade a spade in American events, and you will certainly learn more about the rest of the planet.
On the internet front (specifically FB), i block the posts of those who only present sensationalist nonsense. Just say no.
These are toxic people who poison your spirit; they encourage one's worst emotions and reactions, drain one's energy and deplete one's positive feelings like self-confidence, cheerfulness, optimism, JOY. People like this, it would be best just to excise them from one's life like a tumor, but sometimes it's almost impossible to do so. At very least, keep them at arm's-length, emotionally speaking. Don't let them or their message in; don't keep giving them more chances because they'll just wound you again and again. Surround yourself, as best you can, with people and ideas that are uplifting and love-inspiring.
The atmosphere of miserable, hateful, or ill-principled jerks will make you a lesser person, but the proximity of truly good people will improve you -- these characteristics are contagious. Which "bug" would you rather catch?
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