further enlightenment

I got a flash of insight this morning as i was finishing my first cup of coffee:  although fulfilling the "hot caffeinated beverage" function for which it's intended, coffee without heavy cream is much less of a pleasure-delivery system than it used to be.

Now, "duh" is the expected response to a statement like that.  If i stopped my analysis there, this would be the most banal post i could possibly write, but the way my mind works, it's the subtle ramifications that i find most intriguing.  I'm attracted to the tiny rills which swell the mighty river.

Two reactions will probably inhibit a lot of people who might otherwise try this dietary scheme:  the "i can't give up grains" response, and the "but i always ... because it relaxes/invigorates/pleasures me."  The problems are addiction, habit, and fear of loss of pleasure.  Been there.

The first time i specifically banished grains from my diet was when i started Atkins, about 8 years ago.  I don't specifically remember it being all that difficult, though i sorely missed a few foods which had been staples when i suffered under the low-fat paradigm.  But on the occasions since then, when i allowed myself to indulge in bread, rice, or oatmeal, i clearly felt the pull of such foods -- the urge to continue eating, scarfing them down, despite the lack of actual HUNGER.  When my husband was working in New Orleans ... OH MY GOD ... the wonderful french bread you could buy for a SONG at Croissant D'Or....

Some foods are physically as well as psychologically addictive.  Treat them as the evil seducers they are -- they want to convince you that it's all about innocent pleasures whose only downside is disapproval by puritanical anti-hedonists.  They're lying.  The downside is disease and misery.

Various blogs (and the recent book "Wheat Belly") explain why, with their discussions of the addictive properties of grains.  You don't notice it so much when it's a part of your everyday diet, but quit for a while and reintroduce -- WOW.  My name is Tess, and i'm an addict.  I won't embarrass myself by getting technical with talk of opioid receptors and endocannabinoids, but i'll willingly confess to being their thrall.  Just recently, during the holiday season, i allowed myself a treat in the form of "party mix" made with only rice chex and nuts, and the usual butter/spice topping.  i rationed my servings, but after the butter-rice combination hit my digestive tract, i felt the urge to stuff my maw like Cookie Monster!  Butter and vegetables don't have QUITE that strong an appeal.

A HUGE number of people actually exhibit signs of panic when they're asked to give up bread and cereals.  (Note to self:  add "auto-hypnosis" to "addiction" and "habit" above....)  If they believe they can't give up these things, they're very likely to saboutage themselves.  They're addicted, and the best thing they can do is go cold-turkey.  Eat pre-cooked mini-quiches for breakfast, and wrap your sandwich in leaf-lettuce rather than bread; order restaurant sandwiches and hold the bun -- it's not that hard to substitute.

Enter, "habit."  That glorious first cup of coffee of the morning, as a vehicle for cream ingestion ... i did it every day, and didn't think about it, because cream is "legal" in low-carb diets.  I expected to want it much more than i do, now that i've gotten used to coconut milk.  I expected cheese and wine to elicit cravings, because i love them and used them often.  I DIDN'T.  When i got back from taking my husband to the airport last night, i wanted to sit down with a cocktail; a month ago, i would have done just that.  But i didn't CRAVE it (because these are not physiological NEEDS) -- it was easy to resist.  I don't NEED all these things i consumed regularly, before.  I hardly miss them at all.

I suspect that "fear of loss of pleasure" may be a very strong motivation to continue eating things we shouldn't.  To get back to the cream and wine as exemplars:  i LOVE cream, and there's no reason from a low-carb point of view, why i shouldn't allow myself to enjoy it ... UNLESS it causes physiological effects which i'm significantly better without.  The ONLY WAY i'll ever learn exactly what these effects may be is to strictly CUT THEM OUT of my diet.  For the space of a month???  If this is the hardest thing i'll every do, i lead a charmed existence!  Hell, gestating a baby makes this look like dancing around the maypole.  The sheer pleasure of being able to walk around with less pain and more agility makes the "pain" of giving up "neolithic agents of disease" laughable.

Think about it.  Think of all the things you've dreaded doing, then found it wasn't such a big deal when you actually started.  I've discovered that being "perfect" on the PPC is MUCH easier than i ever anticipated.

new week, new challenges

One of the reasons i undertook this blog was inspiration from the (short, free ebook), "The Flinch" to cultivate talents/skills which i have written -- or shrugged -- off in the past.  Consequently to that, i just began exploring something i have a life-long lack of aptitude for:  DANCE.

I'm no fan of all the recent television programs featuring this art/sport, although i get a great deal of pleasure and feel a lot of admiration when watching a fine performance.  I enjoy evenings out at the ballet.  Once i even got to see Baryshnikov, live.  :-)  Back in my fencing days, i took an adults' class in "ballet" (well, ballet-inspired conditioning, led by a prominent local dance teacher) in an effort to get balance for my body, since fencing is notoriously asymmetric.  My wind and flexibility definitely improved, but i became no better dancer as a result.

So when that little devil on my shoulder hinted that, despite not wanting to indulge "the flinch," i might hesitate to enter a new realm of endeavor that featured this bugaboo, naturally i said "screw dat" and went searching for a school.  The voice of one of my living-history personae lept to the aforementioned shoulder, kicked the devil overboard, and made a supportive suggestion:  Irish dance.  She wants to learn to jig.  ;-)

Last night, i attended the first class.  The atmosphere was friendly and encouraging, and the instructor WELL-versed in teaching adults as well as smaller fry.  We plunged right into learning basic steps.  Knowing how out-of-condition i am, i took it easy and therefore have barely any aches today, but a little inflammation.  The PPC, being an anti-inflammatory regimen, will sure be a help here!  I'll continue to take it easy today, with a little stretching and flexing -- maybe, too, do a few yoga moves that seem like they'd be helpful.

Tomorrow i start the Tabata sprints!  I was putting off beginning to do them regularly, in anticipation that my weight loss won't continue this well very long.  EVERYBODY knows that exercise makes a difference in metabolic support and mitochondrial rehabilitation, even though it sucks for actual weight loss.  I WAS saving the heavy artillery for when my footsoldiers (diet) started to get tired.  The latter are still battling steadily, but they're going to get reinforcement anyway.

We'll see how this progresses!  No doubt, it's going to be a challenge.

here. NOW.

Well, i did it!  Although i don't believe in new years' resolutions, I'm committing to a "path", my journey for ... as long as i bloody well feel like it!  Correction -- as long as i think it holds promise.  :-)

Lots of spurs led me here, not least of which was the book i began reading last night, The Flinch, by Julien Smith (thank you for introducing it, Richard!).  I realize how much my life has been formed by "pain avoidance".  My biggest character fault, i believe, is a lack of self-confidence, keeping me from leaping whole-heartedly into a lot of different things, from hobbies to life-significant pursuits.  I won't go into details about how i think i LOST said confidence....

Suffice it to say, i'm ready to leap NOW.  This blog is part of it.  Another part is, i started Chris Kresser's Personal Paleo Code program this morning.  I'm going to be PERFECT for a solid month.  No dairy, no liquor, no soda....  I suspect that cheese will call my name the loudest.

So i'm committing myself publicly, here.  NOW.